Ep 132. Why Optimism Is Better

I am Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 132, Why Optimism is Better.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Hey my friends, how are you today? I am recording this on a Sunday morning after Orangetheory Fitness, the morning after spring forward happened. I’ve adjusted my mindset because you know I love going to bed early. But I decided I’m going to love this time change so much. I’m going to adjust my little sleeping schedule a tad and I want to talk to you about that, why optimism is so much better, it’s better than everything else. And I guess I’m comparing it to pessimism.

Being an optimistic person is so much better. I mean, speaking as one, living her life as one 100% of the time, as far as I’m aware of, I stay optimistic. I refuse to go down the pessimistic trail because it is my choice and it is so much better to be optimistic and let me tell you why. I encourage myself every single morning with so much optimistic energy, with so many optimistic thoughts, my glass is always, we used to say half full or half empty depending on how you see it, how you describe it, how you think about it on purpose.

I mean, some people just like to be pessimistic, and that’s fine if that’s what they want to do. But I choose not to be around pessimistic people. And I don’t want to talk them out of it. If they want to be pessimistic, that’s fine. But I’m telling you, I have such a better life because I’m optimistic. So I don’t believe in, what’s it called, toxic positivity? If it’s genuinely positive, there’s nothing toxic about it. And optimistic people are genuinely positive. And I’m telling you, there is no one better to be around because it is an energy, it is a vibe, it elevates everyone who wants to be elevated.

And those are the people I want to spend my time with. I love being by myself for that reason. I love being with me because of the way that I choose to think about things and because of the trajectory I’m on, the road I’m on, the direction I’m headed. It’s all intentional. It’s all by choice.

I heard Oprah on a reel on Instagram. I’m not going to quote it verbatim, but she was asked by the interviewer, “What makes a successful person?” And she goes, “The main thing is that they know where they want to go. They know what kind of success they want to achieve, the clarity of purpose, the vision that they have. Most people live in chaos because they can’t make a decision. They don’t ask and answer themselves the question, “What do I really want?”” And that’s for all of us women in the second half of life.

And this is the reason I coach. And these are the women that I coach. Women hire me because they really want to become way more optimistic. They want to get super clear about the direction that they’re headed. They want to have full permission to choose what they want, to know what they want and then to get busy working towards that goal. And I help them do that because I am a genius at it.

I used to just suffer so much in chaos and confusion in my mind, in my brain and indecision because I was doing what everybody else wanted. I didn’t even know what I wanted. I couldn’t even order off of a freaking menu. So I want you to know, I’m 100% different now. I’ve always been optimistic, but I didn’t realize until this last decade that I actually am so much stronger than I think I am. I’m actually so much more capable than I think I am. I give myself so much more credit than I used to give myself.

I know how to manage my thoughts and emotions in a way that I can stay optimistic most of the time, every single day. So I am telling you for sure that if that sounds appealing to you, that you really can have good energy and think optimistic thoughts not only about yourself, but about your life, even about your past. Maybe you need to change the story of your past to a more optimistic story so that it’s not keeping you stuck, feeling like a piece of crap.

That maybe you can look back on your past and give yourself so much validation for how far you’ve come and everything you’ve created so far. That maybe you were blaming yourself or even blaming someone else or circumstances. And none of that serves you. It keeps you in a negative spiral. I want you to know you can pop out of that negative spiral any time you want to. If you find yourself in a negative spiral when something doesn’t go your way, I want you to know that is not necessary. I mean, first of all, let it be okay because your brain just thinks this is keeping you safe. Let that be okay.

But I want you to know it isn’t necessary and it isn’t useful for you to be in a negative spiral. You can pop yourself out of that when you become the witness of it and you go, “Oh, wait a minute. I know I don’t have to do this anymore.” You can think, for me, if I find myself, I don’t even know if I call it a negative spiral anymore. I don’t even feel like I’ve even experienced that anytime lately, but not so much a spiral. But I can see how I talked to you guys about anxiety a couple of weeks ago, some of you would call that a negative spiral. And I don’t call that a negative spiral because I know how to manage that anxiety.

So maybe if you experience anxiety, you might feel like it’s out of your control. And that’s what I want you to be sure of today, that it isn’t. It’s totally in your control because your mind is in your control. Your feelings are in your control and your actions are in your control. So that means your results in your life are in your control, and that’s the power of being optimistic and becoming more optimistic as you grow older. It is so possible, it’s such a practice worth doing, it’s a discipline of your mind.

I’m telling you, I’m going to tell you every single week. It’s the ability to stay in your own lane. To almost just hack off all the negativity in your life that you’ve allowed to creep in, just hack it off. If you listen to the news, 100% stop listening to the news. If you circle up with anyone, with any groups of people who are complainers and you join into the complaining rant about anything or anyone. I want you to stop doing that. I want you to get out of those relationships.

Spend more time with yourself if you need to, and like I do. I just refuse to hang out with people who are complainers and who have really good lives, but all they do is complain about them. I want you to realize, that might be you. You have a really good life and because you complain about it, you are stuck in pessimism about your life. You have a really good life. And so to be able to tell a story to yourself and encourage yourself every day with optimistic talk, self-talk, and then get to work.

There’s a really cute, very powerful meme going around in different versions on Instagram about someone saying, “I just feel really low. I feel really down lately.” And the listener, she’s almost a coach, this is because this is the coach in me. Is going to say, well, are you going outside? Are you going for walks? Are you going for exercise every single morning no matter what? Are you making your green juice and drinking your green juice? Are you getting your work done? Are you planning tomorrow today and you’re getting up every single morning and getting your work done?

Are you feeling accomplished? Are you getting a really good night’s sleep and eating nutritious food? Are you hanging out with optimistic people and having positive conversations? Have you turned the news off? Are you hydrated? Are you watching good stuff if you’re watching television? Do you follow optimistic people on Instagram and on Facebook? I’m not really on Facebook, you guys. I tried to enter back into Facebook a little bit, but Facebook feels, I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel good to me. Maybe one day it will, but it just doesn’t. It feels so less it’s in my control.

I feel like especially with an election year, I really don’t want to hear any rantings and ravings about anything. And I feel like Facebook allows more of that. And then on Instagram and that’s where I am active is on Instagram. So if you don’t follow me, follow me @kymshowerslifecoach on Instagram. You’re going to love it. You’re going to love my account because I’m so optimistic every single day, genuinely optimistic every single day. You’re going to want to be around me.

It’s going to change the way that you think. It’s going to change the neural pathways in your brain like it does for me. The people that I follow on Instagram are all very successfully optimistic people. And I’m not saying that all business people are successful because they’re optimistic because I know that some business people are rich and they’re not optimistic. But generally speaking and the way that I think about my success, it’s because I’m optimistic and because I’m positive and because I never let myself quit on myself.

So there’s so much benefit in being optimistic. And I will always show up as her intentionally on purpose. And it’s so easy for me now because it’s genuinely who I am and what I’ve been practicing. So I say I like that speech and I know I’ve told you guys this several times, but I’ll call it the woman in the arena. Because the women in the arena, doing the work every day, the fighters, the ones in the game, we’re very optimistic and we’re great cheerleaders for each other.

We have no time, we spend no time in the cheap seats complaining and yelling at the people doing it wrong. You’ll never see me do that. I will never do that. I don’t have any time for that. I’m not talking to people about other people doing it wrong, so that’s not even on my radar. That’s not in my mind anymore. And anyone that comes across as negative, I am not drawn to them at all. Our minds are like magnets, and if we’re thinking optimistic thoughts, we are going to draw all kinds of positive, optimistic, good energy to ourselves in the form of people and success.

Money loves to be with me because I love money. I talk so well about money. I do not talk bad about people. I always wondered, is it even possible to become a woman who doesn’t gossip, a woman who loves to cheer other women on, who thinks the best of people and also has really clear boundaries? And obviously I am drawn to certain types of people, certain types of women.

And I don’t think about anyone but the ones that I really want to emulate, who are doing really cool good things in the world. Those are the women I want to be around. Those are the people I want to be around. So I’m very good at directing my thoughts, directing my feelings, feeling on purpose, showing up, doing what I say I’m going to do. I make a plan every day, I confirm my plan with myself every day and anyone else that I need to confirm my plan with.

And I show up for my plan every single day. And you know what that gives me? That gives me a very positive, optimistic, powerful life every single day. Nothing outside of me determines how I’m thinking and feeling inside. This is what I know for sure. So if I find myself in a place that I don’t want to be inside, I’ll pop myself out of it. I’ll be aware of it. I’ll pop myself out of it and create the exact feeling that I want to feel, which is always optimistic, which is always encouraging and motivating and inspiring.

I inspire myself every single day, you guys, and I want you to know you can do the same thing. It’s a habit. It’s a practice. It’s a skill. So you’ll never find me complaining and whining about circumstances about my life. I just refuse to ever do that. I see my life is extremely amazing. I see my life as extremely powerful and headed in an awesome direction, it’s filled with so much hope. I know that my future is even brighter than today is, which is kind of incredible that it could even get better. So I love being me. I love being with me because of it.

And I want you to know your first step is, do you love being you? Do you love who you are? Do you like the way that you feel being you every single day in the circumstances in your life? And if not, I want you to come work with me because I can help you. It will happen immediately. I mean, every week you will have a shift in the way that you think and feel about yourself in a way more optimistic, positive direction which will change the whole trajectory of your life.

If you’re like me, I’m 63. So I had the best birthday ever, so much love. So I don’t know if I said this to you last week but thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love. If you were a part of that, that I felt on my birthday, oh my gosh, it was overwhelming, it was delightful. And I had to open up to receive it all intentionally and I’m so glad I did. It just expanded me in so many ways that really surprised me, and it has been so to my benefit.

So I want you to know, say yes to yourself. You can totally afford it. You can’t afford not to do it. You can’t afford to not come and join my next group which starts Wednesday, March 27th at 1:00 pm California time for an hour. And then you’ll be invited to my retreat. It’s for clients only, in Avila Beach, California, two and a half days of pure elevation. You will leave a different woman. If you want your sparkle back, that’s what I’m calling it. Let’s get our sparkle back.

Let’s become optimistic, powerful women in the second half of life. It changes everything. You’re going to draw so many different things to you that you never even thought was possible. And if you’re like me, by the time I’m 70, you guys, I’m going to be a self-made millionaire. I’m even going to be more optimistic than I am now. I think my mind can’t even wrap around where I’m headed. I’m just very clear that I’m going to be richer. I’m going to be more optimistic. I’m going to be more powerful in my own life. I’m going to help so many more women do the same thing.

I’m going to be so much more confident and tell an amazing story about this work and about how good life can be when you get super clear about where you’re headed. And super optimistic about who you are in this world, in this one precious, very beautiful life that you’ve been given, that I’ve been given. I’m just all in, as you can tell. So that’s what I want to encourage you with today. I would love for you to come and be my next client. You will be so glad you did. You will stick with me and you will change your life forever and your relationships are going to get so much better.

You’re going to be able to love yourself in a totally different way, see yourself in a totally different way, respect yourself in a totally different way and then that changes everything. Alright, I love you so much. Thanks for showing up today. Share this amazing, optimistic episode with any woman that you know could use it. And it’s all about how we think, how we feel and how we show up every single day. And optimism works. Optimism is the very best life and really is our superpower. Alright, love you so much. Have a very incredible week.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.