Ep 118. You Are the Love of Your Life

I’m Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 118, You Are the Love of Your Life.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Good morning my friend out in podcast land, how are you today? Welcome back to my show. I love saying that. This podcast show has become such a dear friend to me. I love it so much. I look so forward to sitting down on Thursday mornings and talking to you all, you all. It is really just very inspiring to me, very motivating to me and very encouraging to me. As I always say, I am my own inspiration, I am my own motivation and I am my own encouragement. And this podcast is my creation and it’s just been so to my benefit and it was so scary at first.

And I was thinking about this this morning because I went and had my blood drawn for my hormones. And I was just remembering, gosh, the old me. I used to get so nervous about having my blood drawn. And then this morning I didn’t even think about it. It wasn’t even a problem at all for me. I used to put my AirPods in and try hard not to think about all the blood coming out of my arm and then I’d kind of make myself dizzy and I had some drama in my head about it. And then this morning I was like, “Oh my gosh, I have come so far.”

And then I was thinking about recording this podcast episode for you all. And I was thinking, oh my gosh, I’ve come so far. I used to get so nervous about it. And remember back in the day when I first started, I used to write it out word for word. And now I sit down with zero notes. I just plug my microphone in and I sit down literally, you guys, I’m staring at the ocean. It is a clear blue sky this morning here in Shell Beach, California. I’m staring at a beautiful ocean. The waves are kind of high today. They were super high yesterday, very loud and beautiful.

I just sit down, stare at the ocean and I start talking to you. And I want you to know if you’re waiting for the love of your life, you don’t have to wait any longer. You indeed are the love of your life as it turns out, you truly are. I am the love of my own life and that’s how it was always meant to be from day one. To show up for ourselves with that kind of intention and that kind of endearment and commitment, that we, in fact, are the loves of our own lives.

So let’s just give homage, first of all, to Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, our very own Taylor Swift, my very own Taylor Swift. You know how much I love her and how truly impressed I’ve been with her all year. She has been my bar. I have been so motivated by her hard work, her ambition. And I do really, truly, I do get energized thinking about her and the level of commitment that she has to her craft and then reading the Time Magazine article. I love the writer who wrote that, did such a good job.

But let me pause here and pull this up real quick. One of my clients sent this to me yesterday morning and had this part of the article underlined because she knows that I’m madly in love with Taylor. But listen to this, you guys, because I want you to think about this. I want you to listen to it and apply it to you. Taylor Swift is the love of her own life. Taylor is Taylor’s love of her life, even though I’m all about Kelce, I’m all in on this love affair she’s having.

But he for sure isn’t the love of her life. She is the love of her life. And if this thing that she has with this darling football player works out long term, it will work out because of that fact, that she has learned how to stop bending over backwards to please the world. And she has put her head down, you guys, and decided to channel all of her energy into her own life and into herself and into her craft. And then you know what that has done for the world? That has elevated the world with so much love and music and goodness and inspiration and motivation and encouragement.

She is the perfect example of how I teach and how I coach and what I have found to be the truest truth in my own life. So this is actually written by Editor in Chief, Sam Jacobs. “Taylor Swift found a way to transcend borders and be a source of light. No one else on the planet today can move so many people so well. Achieving this feat is something we often chalk up to alignments of planets and fates, but giving too much credit to the stars ignores her skill and her power. Swift is the rare person who is both the writer and the hero of her own story.”

But listen, this is what I’ve been telling you guys since I started this podcast. We have to become not only the love of our own life. We have to be the one we’re looking for. We have to show up for ourselves. We have to become the writer, the producer, the director, and in fact the star of our own story, the star of our own movie, the star of our own show. We have to, this is what this life is for, learning how to be her, learning how to show up as her now. This is what benefits everybody and Taylor is the greatest star, the greatest example.

A young woman who has literally intentionally gone all in on herself, her work in the world, her craft. And it has been thrilling to witness. It has been thrilling for me to witness, and hopefully for you too. I can’t imagine that there’s anyone that hasn’t just been so inspired by her. There’s just not one bad thing that you could ever say about Taylor Swift. So, yay, congratulations to Taylor Swift for being named Person of the Year. It’s so well deserved. She is such a badass. And me at 62, so inspired by a 33 year old woman.

Can you imagine? I really do think she is just getting started. She’s been doing this for 17 years. I got to see her in concert several times. And yeah, the first time I saw her in concert, you guys was in Bakersfield, California, my home town. She opened for Brad Paisley, I believe. She opened Brad Paisley’s concert. And she was just adorable. And we were right in the front row, so we just got the front row experience with Taylor when she was super young. But she’s been doing this for 17 years, she puts on a great show.

I did not get to go to the Eras concert in person. Who knows, I might go to Paris or go wherever she goes next, go see her in person, I don’t know, but I do know this. By the time this episode comes out her movie will be streaming on my television in my living room. So I’ll be watching it probably nightly before I go to bed. I’ll probably at least watch one or two songs before I go to bed. But what I read in the article as well, is that she trained, you guys, and this is also a lesson.

Yeah, maybe I should have named this episode lessons from Taylor Swift. Lessons from the Person of the Year, how to become your own person of the year. So listen, this is how you become the love of your own life. This is how you become the person of the year for you and your life. You go into a life of training like your life depends on it, you guys. I am in a life of training because I really do think that my life depends on this because it does. My best life depends on this.

If I want to end every year like I’m ending this year as my own person of the year, as my own love of my life like Taylor is, I have to be in a life of training. That means I have to show up for myself every single day, no matter what and I do and she does too. And. I loved reading the part where she said she went into training, physical training for her Eras Tour and if you guys have watched the movie or if you actually got to go to the concert, it is astonishing how much energy that she pours out for three solid hours, it’s crazy town.

So of course, I thought, oh my gosh, that girl is in the shape of her life and it is true. She said that she ran on the treadmill every single day and I think I don’t know if I’m quoting this right, but in my memory this is my story, that she did that for three straight months. And she’s singing her playlist, her Eras tour playlist while she was running and she would sing the fast songs and run. And then on the slow songs she would walk and she would sing. So she would just practice getting her body into shape, getting her voice into shape, practicing over and over and over.

That’s a grueling, gritty commitment that she made and she showed up for herself every single day to get ready for this tour. And I just wonder if she, in her imagination, I call it magical thinking, super thinking that I always do. I imagine every year for the rest of my life to get exponentially stronger and better and more expansive than the year before. And I wonder when she was training for this Eras Tour, if she, in her imagination, knew what it was going to do. Could she have even imagined that?

And she might have had an inkling that this was going to be a remarkable thing that she was working on. And the impact that it had, I think on the entire world has been so incredible. And I’m just so happy for her. I’m so, so happy for her in every single way because I mean, her whole story is incredible. She’s been doing it for 17 years, so more than half of her life she’s been in the public eye and putting her craft out in the world, which is not easy at all. And it has been, I’m sure, extremely challenging, extremely difficult.

She’s had so much pushback at so many different times. And she just keeps coming back. She retreats and then she comes back even stronger and better than ever. I know she has to have lots of coaches and therapists. And I’m sure she’s done so much internal work, which is required of all of us when we want to grow like this. But I’m just impressed by her reinvention. She keeps reinventing herself over and over and over and over again. That is so impressive to me, that is not easy, but you know what it does for me is I am just even doubling down on my reinventions.

I’m just like, “Oh, my gosh, it’s time, I’m ready. What’s my next reinvention?” So, you guys, just know that this is what’s possible for us. Honestly, she has just leveled up to this whole new atmosphere that no one has even been in before. But she’s going, “Hey, come with me all, you all, everybody that wants to improve their life, everybody that has a dream.” It’s possible, start training for it. So this is what I’m telling you my friend. We get to decide.

We get to decide that our dream is so legit and then we make it a reality. It’s just in our imagination right now but let’s just start training for it. Let’s put it into action. Let’s start making it happen because this podcast was just a dream for me. How long have I been doing it now? A couple of years. I really don’t even know, it’s a blur, but a couple of years now I think I’ve been doing this podcast. And before I started it, it was just such a dream for me and my brain would wrestle with me like, “Oh, you’re never going to do it. You’ll never start it.”

Because I kept putting it off because I was overwhelmed by the thought of it. I didn’t know how to start it. I didn’t know if anyone was going to like it. I had all this drama about it, but you know what the best thing that I ever did was just start it. Take a chance on me and just start it and then never quit. That was the best thing I ever did. And this podcast has improved my life in every single area of my life, in ways that I had no idea about, that it would benefit me.

And it’s also benefiting you. If you have been listening to my podcast, my client, Donna, this week, said, and I’m not on Spotify, but I need to be on Spotify because I know a lot of you listen to this on Spotify. But I am going to get a subscription to Spotify this week because I’ve heard their playlists are amazing. I just do everything on Apple but I’m going to add Spotify too. But she listens to it on Spotify but she said she first listened to the first round of it, she went through all the episodes. This is episode number 118, so that’s a lot of episodes, you guys.

But she listened to the first round on Apple and then she switched over and then listened to it again on Spotify. And she said, I guess those of you on Spotify will know, I don’t even know what this means, but she said I was part of her Spotify Wrapped, which I think it means I was on the top of who she was listening to on Spotify. So if I made your Spotify Wrapped, thank you so much, my friend out in podcast land for listening.

You guys, I have so many listeners that I know, I just love you so much. And I really want to take this opportunity right now on this episode, this random episode, to thank you for listening and for sharing my podcast with people that you know would love it and it would be useful and helpful for. And that’s why I’m here, because it’s useful and helpful for me, it’s useful and helpful for my clients. And I know it’s useful and helpful for you or you wouldn’t be listening.

So I really do want you to know that whatever you’re thinking about doing, right now is the best time of the year to commit to it because you’re going to wrap up this 2023 like a boss, the boss that you are, the love of your own life that you are. And then you’re going to be off and running to make that dream come true in 2024 like the boss that you are and like the love of your life that you are. That’s how we do it.

I am going to write my memoir in 2024. I’m going to up-level my business. I’m going to clean up my business and make it even better than ever in 2024. I’m going to make this podcast better than ever in 2024. I have no plans to slow down at all. I’m taking two weeks’ vacation at Christmas, which I’ve never done, which is going to be so fun. But even though I’m not going to be coaching in those two weeks, you guys, I’m going to be creating content in those two weeks and for my clients and for my podcast and for those of you who are on my email list.

Okay, that’s another thing I want to tell you. Get on my email list, on my website because you will get a letter from me, well, it is a letter, it’s a newsletter every Friday. But it’s actually a video of inspiration, motivation and encouragement every single Friday delivered straight to your computer or your phone, wherever you read your email. So get on my email list. So I’ll have new content for that which is going to be remarkable and fun.

And then of course my everyday Instagram. If you don’t follow me on Instagram, oh my gosh, what are you doing? Get on my Instagram. Kym Showers Life Coach on Instagram because I put a video every day of inspiration. So I am my own inspiration. I am my own motivation. I am my own encouragement, every single morning. Every single morning when I wake up at 3:45, I get up, I fill my body with all of that goodness all on my own, and then I’m off and running. And I want you to learn how to do that too.

I am the love of my life. You are the love of your life. So you need to start treating yourself like that. You are the incredible love of your life. So another thought I had, I can’t remember if I mentioned this on the podcast, I’m sure I have, about The Golden Bachelor and how he chose the right girl. The girl that I wanted him originally to choose, he didn’t choose. And I’m so glad he didn’t choose her, because the last episode, it was evident that she thought he was the love of her life and she fell apart. And she said the words, “No one ever picks me.”

And I was like, “You need to get in my January group, girl.” Her name is Leslie. Leslie, you should hire me as your life coach because I’m going to teach you how to pick yourself so that you can get rid of that old story that you have. She’s dragging the story that no one ever picks me, well, she’s proving that whole story true. That’s why he didn’t pick her, because that’s the way she shows up to her life that no one ever picks me. So I don’t want you to have those sneaky little stories that you’re just buying as the truth.

If you think, no one ever picks me, if you think you’re not good enough, you’re not the love of your own life and you’re not the love of anyone’s life, that you don’t deserve to be. You need to get in my January group so I can show you that that is all ridiculousness and how to drop all those old un-useful thoughts and how to create a whole different story about yourself that you get to decide and you get to create. So you learn how to show up for yourself every single day, all day long, and you choose you.

You stop choosing everybody else at your own expense. You choose you first. You put yourself first. You show people how it’s done. You don’t have to convince anybody of anything. And honestly, Taylor Swift knows how to do that. She stopped giving her power away, and she became a pioneer, and she started doing everything her own way. And she is a freaking genius because of it. She is the love of her life. She chooses herself very first and she is not one bit afraid to claim that. And she just shows up like the boss that she is.

And I’m telling you, my friend, that is a great example of a woman who knows who she is, who’s been through the fire. We’ve all been through the fire. Don’t think you’re the only one. We’ve all been through the fire. We’ve all been disappointed and let down by people. And every time we are, that is just a red flag for us. That’s just good information for us so that we can see what caused that, why we’re disappointed, why we had our hopes set on someone outside of us instead of our hopes set on us.

So it’s just all really good information so when things don’t go the way we hope they go, we don’t have to fall apart. We can go, “Let me get curious about this. I wonder why I did that. I wonder why that happened and what lesson can I learn from it so that I don’t do that again?” So it’s a curiosity. It’s a compassion for ourselves and a genuine dear love for ourselves, that is absolutely the love that heals us.

So if you’re a woman in the second half of life, I promise you, you are the love of your life. That’s how it has always been. It’s how it will always be. So I want you to start being her now. Be the love of your own life, it will change everything. Put yourself first. Put your blinders on. Stay in your own lane. Put your head down. Start creating all the magic that is inside of you. Put it out in the world, because that’s what heals the world. That’s what elevates all of us and keeps us all moving in a most life giving, love giving, generous direction together. That’s what this work is all about.

So I’m just so lit up with how this year has gone. I’m so lit up by what’s ahead. I’ve never been more excited about a new year and never been more satisfied and proud of a year that I’ve just created for myself. So I want to pass all of this energy on to you, my friend. And know that a year from now you can be saying the exact same thing and even more, I promise you. So think this thought, I am the love of my life. I am the love of my life. I am the love of my life.

I can’t even say it without just grinning from ear to ear. It’s so fun to say, I am the love of my life. So I pass that on to you, you are the love of your life. Thank you so much for showing up to this podcast, I love you so much. Have the best week ever and I will see you next Thursday.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.