Ep 41. How to Live an Extraordinary Life

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 41: How to Live an Extraordinary Life.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own wellbeing and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s gonna be fun. Let’s go.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. Hope you are having the best day ever. I hope you are creating an extraordinary life for yourself because it’s completely possible. And today I’m going to give you a short and sweet little episode. So, I just got back on Sunday from actually five days away at my business mastermind which was truly exceptional. There is 25 of us in this group that have spent an entire year together working on our businesses together. It has been extremely powerful and very worthwhile.

And back when I joined this group last summer I felt completely in over my head. I was very nervous. I had all kinds of thoughts about how – well, I felt vulnerable actually because my brain completely convinced me that I was going to be the one that didn’t know what she was doing and everyone else would know what they were doing. And everyone else would have businesses that were a lot more successful than mine. That’s kind of the nonsense that my brain continually tries to get me to believe but I did it anyway.

So that was a very good decision and now I’m completely convinced because I’ve had this experience this year in this mastermind that I thought was way beyond me, that I thought at the beginning that I might not belong in. And I thought at the beginning that I was in over my head. But you know what happened? Maybe I was in over my head, maybe I didn’t quite belong in the beginning, maybe it was beyond me. But this is how you live an extraordinary life, I promise you.

You sign up for things, you invest in programs, you join groups that your brain tries to convince you is beyond you. That you’re going to feel in over your head. That everyone is smarter, that their businesses are more successful, that they know a lot more than you know. That’s where you belong my friend, join that group, hire that coach to coach you because your future self is cheering you on to be in over your head right now, to do the terrifying thing, the thing that scares you the most but that you want the most.

That’s how we live and create an extraordinary life for ourselves, we do the hardest thing and then we rise to the occasion, then we retrain our brain to a different identity, to a higher way of seeing things, a more confident way of thinking about ourselves. And a more powerful way of showing up every single day to our life. This is how you do it. So, this last mastermind meeting, it was our last time that we were all, the 25 of us probably will ever be together again because we get one more time of being coached by Jody Moore, who was the genius behind this mastermind.

This was something that she created and she put out into the world and we got to invest $25,000 to join this group. We had to apply for it, we had to let her know exactly who we are and why we want to be in that group and what our goals are. And then we, the 24 of us that got to join the group that she accepted into the group. She just started coaching us, and teaching us, and we got to meet in person three times during the year. And I’m telling you, we have all been transformed by this group. And I’m telling you that we all felt the same exact same way at the beginning.

We all felt nervous. We all felt terrified. We all felt a little in over our head and we all knew that was exactly where we needed to be. So, so many transformations. And this last time together was exceptional. And Jody told us the very first day, she called us all exceptional people. And we all believe her because we know that we are, we own that. And that is such an empowering way to think about ourselves. It’s such an empowering way for you to think about yourself.

If you know that you’re an exceptional person, you really believe that, you will show up to your life every single day as an exceptional person. It’s very important the way that you think about yourself, the way that you see yourself, the things you believe about yourself. So, what she did for us this time, which was a total blast, one of the many things she did for us this time up in El Dorado Hills was she bought us all tickets to go to the theater to see the new Top Gun movie, Maverick.

And just coincidentally I had watched the old, the original Top Gun the Sunday before I went up to the mastermind because everything I’d been hearing about the new movie, I had decided I was going to go see it. And the way that I am about movies and to remind you that or just to tell you, I have not been in a theater, I hadn’t been in a theater since before the pandemic. So, this was my very first opportunity to go to a theater, very first time I said yes to an invitation to go to a movie since pre pandemic, so it had been well over two years since I’d been in a theater.

And then normally I go to movies by myself, I normally don’t go to movies with people. I started that a few years ago. I just enjoy going by myself, usually in the afternoon and watching the movie all by myself, off by myself because I like to just be completely immersed in the movie. And I don’t want to be distracted by people around me. So, when Jody Moore said, “Hey, I’m going to buy all of us tickets, I’m going to treat everybody to go see this movie,” and we were very excited.

And half the people in the group had already seen it and they were even more excited than those of us who hadn’t seen it because they were excited to go see it again and knowing what they knew from the first experience. So, what I’m going to share with you today is a line from the movie and also what I want you to do is go see the movie if you haven’t seen it yet because right now it is my new favorite movie, and I can’t wait to go watch it again. In fact, I might go today to watch it again all by myself.

But it was so motivating, it was completely inspiring. And it’s a movie that you’re just going to want to see over and over. There’s so much goodness in it. Very much a movie of transformation and redemption which is completely my favorite kind of movie. But there was a line in it that goes like this. “Don’t think, just do. Don’t think, just do.” And you’ll hear it when you go to watch the movie. But what I want to tell you today it stuck with me, and I think about it every day now, don’t think, just do.

And I’m going to just share with you why that’s so important. It’s so helpful to have this thought in your brain. Don’t think, just do. Because our tendency is to overthink, to think too much, to spend our energy spinning in thought and indecision. But you know how I coach. I coach to make your decisions ahead of time. I coach to decide on purpose what your future self wants and show up as her today and do the things that she would have you do today. So, this is what I do, this is how I always reach my goals, this is why I live an extraordinary life.

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking. I spend a lot of time doing. This is what I mean. So, every day before I wrap up my day, my workday, before I check everything off my list, off my calendar for that day, I think about tomorrow. I plan what I’m going to do tomorrow. I plan today how I’m going to show up tomorrow and the things that I’m going to accomplish tomorrow. So, I make my list, I throw away the list that I’ve already checked off for today and then I plan my schedule for tomorrow starting from when I get up in the morning.

Let’s say I wake up at four o’clock, I wake up normally between four and five every morning depending on when I go to bed. I usually go to bed around eight. And depending on how full the week’s been. I’ve had a lot of very full weeks lately. So even this morning I slept until five-thirty. And I was so happy and so proud of myself that I went back to sleep until five-thirty because I needed sleep more than anything else. But I have my schedule already written out for the day when I wake up in the morning.

So, I don’t think about my day, I just do my day, it’s already decided for me. That’s my highest self, deciding ahead of time what I’m going to do. So, I go to the gym at five-thirty. I do that every single morning. I do it. I don’t think about it, I just do it. Do you see how that works? I’m not thinking about my day during my day. I’m just showing up for my day and accomplishing everything that my past self-decided for me. I’m eating the foods that she decided for me.

Right now, I had recorded my podcast at this time, so I sit down, I record my podcast at the time that my schedule tells me to record my podcast, that my past self, my yesterday self told me, let’s do it at 10 o’clock on Thursday morning after I’ve already worked out. After I’ve done my morning routine. After I’ve had my green juice. I’m going to sit down. I’m going to record my podcast. And then I’m not thinking all day. I’m not spinning in indecision, should I or shouldn’t I? What do I feel like doing? No, it’s already decided for me.

I don’t think, I just do. That’s what I’m telling you today, start this mantra, start this thought, start this practice, start this belief, set yourself up to win ahead of time by deciding the day before. Plan your day the day before. And then show up on that day and do everything, do everything that you told yourself you were going to do. And it all lines up with the goals that you’ve set for yourself. That’s why goals are so important.

Idea number one for creating an extraordinary life for yourself, don’t think, just do. And also go to the theaters as soon as possible and watch the new Top Gun movie called Maverick. I promise you, you are going to be obsessed with it.

Thought number two in creating an extraordinary life for yourself is to have your own back. I have my own back and I want you to have your own back. No one else has to stick up for me. No one else has to validate me because I got me. I am proud enough of myself, I show up enough for myself that I really just never put myself in a victim place. I’m always up for whatever – everyone else can think, and do, and believe anything they want about me. I’m not worried about it because I have such a clear idea of who I am and where I’m headed.

I’m always future focused. I’m always thinking about where I’m headed, why I’m doing what I’m doing, liking my reasons. And I’m always adjusting them. And so, I have my own back and it comes from a very positive way of being, a very loving compassionate way of thinking and feeling about myself. I take care of myself. I’m not trying to fit in. I’m not trying to manage anyone else’s opinions of me. Everyone else gets to have whatever thoughts they have about me. I really do think that, and I’m not worried about anyone else’s thoughts and opinions about me.

I really do believe that most people who know me, like me, but that’s not my goal. I really don’t care about being that likeable to other people. But I know that I already am. But I don’t spend my energy trying to get anyone else to think or feel about me in a certain way so that I can think and feel about me in a certain way. I already think and feel about me the way that I want to. It’s the way that I intentionally focus on my thoughts. And I intentionally show up for myself every day in a way that I’m proud of, the way that I follow through on my commitments to myself.

So, I’m not wearing myself out managing other people’s thoughts and feelings about me the way that I used to. I just don’t do that. In fact, it’s kind of not even on my radar. I’m not thinking about that. So, it’s such a huge transformation for me. I have come so far from the way that I used to live. I used to want to belong, and want to fit in, and want people to like me. That’s not even on my radar anymore. I mean if people don’t like me I am really truly totally fine with that. And I coach so much on this because all of us women are so much the same.

And when I tell you that I want to be an example of this, I truly mean it. So, I definitely have people in my life that maybe I am not their favorite person but because we’re related in some certain way we have to be around each other every once in a while. And so, the way that that I manage my thoughts around that is I just decide ahead of time who I want to be when I’m around them. I just want to be my highest self and enjoy who I’m being. I’m not worried about what they’re thinking about me, if they like me or they don’t like me, it really doesn’t matter to me.

I just want to like me when I’m with them. So, if you have anxiety, let’s say you’re going on vacation with in-laws or maybe you go to an office every day where you’re around people that you really don’t feel they like you so much. And maybe you don’t like them so much. But I promise you, your only problem is you’re not liking who you’re being when you’re with them and you’re giving them all the credit for it. So, I want you to have your own back here. I want you to be okay with them not liking you. But I want you to like who you’re being when you’re with them.

And that’s the thing that I’m talking about, and I can give you all kinds of examples of that. But always my job is to show up in a way to my life and to any circumstance liking who I’m being. That’s how I have my own back. That’s how you have your own back. Notice how you’re thinking, and feeling, and behaving. Notice that. And then shift your thoughts if you want to so that you feel more empowered, so that you come from a place of loving yourself, you have compassion for yourself and you have love for others and you have compassion for them.

You don’t have to invite them over. You don’t have to be their best friend, but you can be your own best friend, you can love who you’re being, how you’re showing up. So powerful, so important and it’s such an example of self-confidence, self-love, self-compassion and creating an extraordinary life for yourself when you have your own back.

So those were the two things, the two steps, the two ideas, the two mantras that you can adopt that will help you and you alone to create and to live an extraordinary life because this is it. This is what we’ve got today. There are no bad days. I truly believe that. I don’t have bad days. There is not one bad day because I set myself up the day before every single day to have an extraordinary day and all my extraordinary days add up to one extraordinary life that I absolutely love living.

Also, I read this quote, or I heard this quote recently and I couldn’t find it again, but it stuck with me. And it went something like this, but I’m actually going to put it in my own words, women want what I have but most women don’t want to do what I did to get what I have. Women want what I have but most women don’t want to do what I did to create what I have which is an exceptional extraordinary life. So, I want you to think about that. Don’t think, just do, set yourself up for a win. Plan your day ahead of time, every single day plan the next day from your highest self.

And then show up the next day and do every single thing you told yourself you’re going to do. That’s an exceptional extraordinary life. And number two, have your own back. Always have your own back. Know that you’re going to fail, and failure is part of the journey. Failure is awesome. Know that you’re going to mess up, there’s nothing wrong with you, of course you’re going to mess up, you’re a human. And also coming from a place of love and self-confidence, know that you’re right on track, you’re always ahead.

Know that you’re worthy of every good thing. Know that you’re an exceptional woman creating an extraordinary life for herself. Let’s go, get onboard with me. It’s not too late. I have a couple of spots left in my group that starts next Tuesday at noon. Go to my website and buy the package, and let’s go. Start creating a life that your future self will be so proud of. Trust me, every single woman that has ever worked with me has always said that she wished she would have started sooner. She wished that she knew then what she knows now.

No one has ever said, “I wish I didn’t start when I did.” So, start now. Now is always the perfect time to start your life coaching journey and create an extraordinary life for yourself. You’re worth it. You’re amazing. I love you for showing up today and if you love, love, love this podcast and it has been so helpful and useful for you, I would appreciate it so much if you would go on Apple iTunes and give me a five star review and tell me why you love it. That is so helpful and it’s so useful for me to find the women who want to think the way that I think and live the way that I live. That’s who I’m after.

Alright, I love you. Have the best week and I will see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.