Ep 82. The Brilliance of a Good Mood

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 82: The Brilliance of a Good Mood.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own well-being and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s going to be fun. Let’s go.

Hey my friends, welcome back to my podcast, episode number 82. I mean come on, you have to be as proud of me as I am. Let’s talk about being in a good mood today. I’m in such a good mood and I usually am in a good mood. That’s kind of incredible. Can you say that about yourself? Is that something you’ve ever even paid attention to? How often are you in a good mood and why? I want you really to start noticing when you’re in a good mood and pay attention to why you’re in a good mood, what’s the reason. It’s fascinating actually.

But today I want to tell you that being in a good mood is completely up to you. And it is an absolutely brilliant way to live. It’s an extremely productive, powerful way to live. It’s a very fun way to live, if you want to be in a good mood, if you enjoy being in a good mood. I’m not telling you, you have to be in a good mood. If you are not even sold on that then you get to be in whatever kind of mood you want to be. But me personally, I really enjoy being in a good mood as often as possible.

And so what I have learned especially in the last five years is that it is 100% up to me in the way that I’m thinking about everything. So we have always been taught and trained that our good moods come from something outside of us. If the sun’s out and the birds are singing and everything’s going our way, then we kind of allow ourselves to be in a good mood. We kind of relax into it, like I can’t help but be in a good mood today. And I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with that.

But we’ve had a lot of rain here lately, in the last few months for us Californians, an incredible amount of rain and cloudy gray days. And I for sure have decided I prefer sunny days which is why I live in California. And also I can still be in a good mood when we have rainy days, every day for lots and lots and lots of days and weeks in a row because it’s completely up to me. I am not going to let a lot of rainy days or gray days that I have zero control of ruin any of my days, any of my moods because I prefer a good mood. I prefer to feel good and be in a good mood.

And our moods are very affected by the way that we think, by the way that we feel and by the things that we do and the topics of discussion. So I really want to encourage you today to set yourself up to make it very easy for you on a daily basis to wake up and be in a good mood and keep choosing that mood all day long. Because it is absolutely a brilliant way to live, I highly recommend it. You will get every single dream that you can conjure up in your head if you decide to create for yourself a good mood on the regular every single day.

And here are some helpful ideas, some little tips of mine because I don’t know the percentages, but I’m just going to say that 90% of my days, 90% of my time I spend in a good mood, even when I’m tired I’m in a good mood. Because I am in charge of my life. I’m in charge of thinking thoughts that produce in me, feelings that put me in a good mood. I’m in charge of those thoughts. So I’ve gotten really good at intentional thinking and really good at noticing thoughts that are not useful for me and being able to quickly drop those thoughts and pick up some more useful thoughts.

Now, I am not saying that I don’t have negative feelings, I 100% have negative feelings. I go in and out of negative, if we’re going to call them negative. I can feel sad and still be in a good mood. I can feel mad and still be in a good mood. So I just want you to jiggle that around in your mind and notice your limiting thoughts about what’s possible for you as far as your moods go. You may just believe the story that you’re just a woman who is generally in just an okay mood. Maybe it’s hard for you to be in a good mood.

And maybe it’s because you’re believing a story about yourself that puts you in a bad mood, that makes you feel like you’re not enough, that makes you feel like you’re stuck and that puts you in a bad mood. So you think it’s not possible for you to be in a good mood, but I promise you, it is so possible for you. If I can be in a good mood 90% of my life, you for sure can be in a good mood 90% of your life if that’s something that sounds intriguing to you. If that’s something that sounds like, well, I’d like to give that a try, that sounds fun, I’d like to have more good moods in my days.

So I set myself up to have a good mood every single day. There are so many ways that I do it. And so off the top of my head, I’m just going to share with you some ways that will definitely affect your mood if you want to switch your habits, your thought habits, your actions, the things that you do, the routines that you’re in every single morning, afternoon, evening. All of this affects your mood.

So you know I get nine hours of sleep every night. That’s number one order of business, so important. You will for sure make it so easy on yourself, you guys, if you get nine hours of sleep every night. And it’s so possible. Don’t let your brain talk you out of it. Your brain’s going to go, “That is so impossible.” Because I cannot turn the TV off. I love to stay up till midnight and then I have to get up at six or I have to get up at seven. Just I am telling you that is all made up. That is all nonsense. First of all, you have to learn the discipline of turning the TV off like I do at seven.

And walking yourself to your bedroom, your cool beautiful bedroom with very clean sheets and very comfortable lighting, even take a bath before you go to bed. Set yourself up to get a very good night’s sleep every night. And if you sleep with a man who snores, get yourself a different bedroom. Get yourself a sleeping bedroom. This has nothing to do with sex. This has nothing to do with a healthy, well, actually for me, it has everything to do with a healthy happy marriage.

Because the minute I got myself my own sleeping quarters, my own chambers for sleeping, everything that I felt about my marriage just upleveled. I am so in love with my husband. I get to sleep nine beautiful hours every night. So it takes some bravery, it takes breaking up some old beliefs and some old patterns and systems. I remember when we started sleeping separately 10 years ago or something like that. I just got brave and I may have told you this little story before. But I just, it might have even been more than 10 years, I feel like it was maybe 12 years ago or so when I was turning 50.

But I was just like, “Dude, I have got to sleep.” And he wasn’t sleeping well because he knew he was making me mad, waking me up snoring. And then one of us would have to leave the bed and go sleep in the guest bedroom, it was just all very disturbing. So I was just like, “I need my own bed.” For sure, we’re going to actually go to separate bedrooms at night. We’re not going to wait until the middle of the night and disturb each other and go to separate bedrooms just because we have these old beliefs that this isn’t a good marriage if we have separate beds.

So we got separate bedrooms and started just going to bed separately and I started sleeping so well for the first time in a long time. You know what that did? That made it so much easier for me to be kind and loving to my husband in the mornings and kind and loving to my calendar and to myself and to my kids and to my friends. Just makes it so easy to be in a good mood when you get at least eight to nine hours of really deep sleep every night.

So don’t let anyone tell you it’s impossible after 40 or after 50 because that’s a lie. It is very possible. You’re just going to have to switch up your system, create something new so you can set yourself up to get a good night’s sleep so that you can spend your days in a good mood. That’s how it’s done.

What I was going to tell you, this quick little story is our housekeeper at the time liked to gossip to her friends. And she was a housekeeper for some of my friends and so she just started telling everybody that Jeff and Kym Showers don’t sleep together anymore. She thinks there’s problems. Well, I let that housekeeper go. But I think that’s what we’re always afraid of in the back of our mind, why we keep doing the things that are no longer working for us, because we’re so afraid people are going to judge us and say silly things like that. And that’s going to mean something about us.

But actually it doesn’t mean anything about us, it just means something about the people that are talking about us, but even that isn’t even a problem. That wasn’t even a problem. And it was not even surprising. But it’s so worth it. I’ll tell all the people forever that Jeff and I have separate bedrooms, separate bathrooms. And we are having the time of our life dating each other and having so much fun together. And we’re both in pretty good moods most of the time. I would say I probably lean heavier on a good mood even more than my husband does.

But he has gotten so much better at it. And I really do think I’m rubbing off on him. I don’t know if he listens to these podcasts, he says he does every once in a while. But he definitely hears me sometimes. And when we’re with friends and our friends are picking my brain, he listens to everything and it’s definitely rubbing off on him, some of my new ways of thinking. And it shows because he has lightened up so much. He really is in a pretty good mood most of the time. So it isn’t anything outside of us, it’s our decisions to take care of ourself.

It’s my decision to take care of myself that puts me in a good mood. It’s your decision to take care of yourself that puts you in a good mood. So another thing that helps being in a good mood so much easier is what I eat and drink, what you eat and drink. So I’m on an 80/20 diet. That’s what I call it. Now, the 20% is just like chips, cheese, wine, cocktail. What are some other things I love? Ice-cream, pie, cookies, I call that 20% of what I put in my mouth. And the 80% though is green juice, raw nuts, scrambled eggs, I make almost every single day.

I make a pan full just packed with broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, and I heat that up for a meal. I always have a fresh roasted chicken in my fridge. So I get a lot of protein. It’s so delicious. I get organic chickens from Wholefoods. I eat a lot of salmon. I drink a ton of water. I eat a lot of fresh fruit, a lot of fresh vegetables, lots of protein, and then, of course, raw nuts. So walnuts and almonds, so good for us, great brain food, anti-inflammatory for our bodies. That’s 80% of my diet. And you know what that does? That makes it so easy for me to be in a good mood because my body feels so good.

So when our body doesn’t feel good, I have never been with anybody that has a hangover that is in a good mood. So pay attention to that, there is no possible way that you are going to be hungover, let’s say you have had one too many cocktails or one too many glasses of wine the night before and you wake up with a hangover, meaning your body feels terrible, you have a terrible headache, you are going to not be in a good mood. So you’ve got to stop overdrinking.

You’ve got to know that you can’t overdrink and think you’re going to be in a good mood. I feel like that’s such a wasted day. It’s almost an entire day that you’ve wasted in a bad mood, just getting through your hangover, trying to feel better. That’s something that we do to ourself, you guys, so just know, I know this very well. And I had to make a decision a long time ago, I will never do that to myself ever again, ever because I value the brilliance of being in a good mood. It makes my life 100 times better. So what we eat and drink pay attention to and borrow all of it from me.

I promise you, you guys, if you make yourself a green juice every morning and you drink at least a half a gallon of water every day. And even the waters I buy from Trader Joe’s have electrolytes in them. My goal is to stay super hydrated. And the things that I eat and drink keep me very hydrated. But if you make yourself a green juice every morning and you drink a ton of water all day long and you eat raw nuts like walnuts, almonds, pistachios, these are all just raw nuts. My body craves them every day with my green juice.

And so I always have them. That’s my breakfast every day. And then you make yourself a pan full of fresh vegetables, you just sauté all your chopped up favorite vegetables in a pan with olive oil and salt and pepper and then you chop yourself up some fresh organic roasted chicken. Oh my gosh, your body is going to start feeling so phenomenal and you cannot help but be in a good mood because of it.

And then step number three is to commit to an exercise, at least 30 minutes of exercise every single day no matter what. You guys, it’s everything. It changes your brain chemistry. I am a different woman. I would not be doing what I’m doing today if I did not aggressively exercise every single morning no matter what. I was up at 3:45 this morning because this is my podcast day. My podcast comes out on this day. I record my podcasts this day. I went to the five o’clock Orangetheory class. I just worked my little bootie off. I’m just getting stronger and stronger and stronger.

I came home, I was in such a good mood all morning. I’m in such a brilliant, good mood right now. I get to watch my Dolly girl today. And I know I’m going to be in an even better mood when she’s here. So I just set myself up for good moods every single day no matter what.

And also you guys, step number four, you’ve got to rest. You’ve got to plan your rest. And you’ve got to just not judge yourself, but actually be so proud of yourself that you rest. You give yourself this deliciousness of whatever feels like rest to you, I want you to plan it and give yourself plenty of it. But like I said, I’m all about being lazy. I love my lazy days. I plan my lazy days. I have no shame in my lazy days because I am so productive. And even my laziness and my rest, I call those my productive times as well because I mean my body and brain need that.

My brain needs to just shut off. Our brain takes so much energy from us. So I am ultra productive in the mornings. Mornings are my go time, my game time. I am just on. I just expend a ton of energy, I would say in the first 12 hours of my day. So I say from four to four I am just on. I get all my stuff done and I’m in a good mood all day long getting all my stuff done. And I love my calendar. I love writing everything down. There is nothing on my calendar that I don’t look forward to.

And there is nothing on my calendar that someone else that I’m saying yes to just because someone asked me, but I didn’t want to, nothing, not one thing. That sets me up to be in a good mood. It’s everything that I choose because I’m no longer a people pleaser.

Alright, so these are four things that you can start putting into practice if you’re interested in being in a good mood most of your life, most of your days. It is a brilliant way to live and I can’t recommend it highly enough. And I want you to know your brain’s like, she’s a special unicorn, it’s just her. There’s no way I could be in a good mood. Half my life I’m in a bad mood. And I don’t believe I can ever, it’s something to do with my husband or something to do with my parents or something to do with my job or my bank account or my body.

And I’m just telling you, that’s all nonsense. It’s not outside of you. If you want to be in a good mood it just takes some determination, commitment and practice. It’s just a discipline that you just start. And it’s so worth the work, my friend, I promise you. Also I forgot to tell you, happy April. We’re in April already, the first week of April.

And I am so excited because exactly one month from today I will be hosting my very first in person client retreat and I am so excited. So my plan is to have these in person retreats every six months. And I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it. And this will be the first time that I get to be with my clients in person. And you guys, I get the best women. It’s going to be an incredible time together. I’m going to teach a bunch of new things and some familiar things in a new way.

We’re going to do a lot of encouraging, dreaming, planning, putting into action. We’re staying all together at an amazing hotel in Avila Beach, California. And if you are interested in being invited, you have until April 13th to join my next group, that starts at the end of May. It will be on Tuesdays at 9:00am in the morning. But if you purchase your spot right now before April 13th, you will be invited to this retreat. And you can just pack your bag and come on over with us. And start changing your life forever for the next six months.

Start putting yourself in a good mood. And really, redirecting your brain, retraining your brain, upleveling who you are, getting a stronger body, changing some habits that are no longer serving you. So all it takes is saying yes to yourself, saying yes to your future self. She is summoning you, guys. So you have until April 13th to grab your spot in my next group. Say yes to yourself today. Do not hesitate, go to my website, kymshowerslifecoach.com. And purchase the package, it says, Work With Me. It’ll give you some information about the next group.

Put yourself in that group and then you’ll hear from me immediately. I’ll give you all the information about the retreat. But if you wait until after April 13th, you will miss the opportunity to come to this retreat. I just want you to know that. So get this little bonus and get invited to this retreat and come take advantage of two and a half days with me and all these amazing women. You want to be in this room, I promise you, it will be life changing for you.

Alright, I love you so much. Happy April. Get yourself in a good mood and know that it’s completely 100% up to you, change your life forever. Alright, I’ll talk to you next Thursday. Bye bye.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.