Ep 72. Everything Always Works Out

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 72: Everything Always Works Out.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own well-being and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s going to be fun. Let’s go.

Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. How are you today? Happy end of January. You are going to be listening to this or this episode is coming out on the last Thursday of January 2023. This month has been so powerful, so fun, completely magical, a lot of surprises and unexpected goodness. And I just want you to know for sure that whatever you’re thinking about your future right now that everything always works out. This is why I don’t worry because I believe this thought, everything always works out.

I’ve been practicing this thought for so long that I believe it. I accept it as what’s true and real in my life and in everybody else’s life. Here is the thing, so, my thoughts create my reality. Did you know this? Everything that is in my life right now, my beautiful glorious magical life is because of the way that I think about it. And the same goes for you. Look around you, look at your relationships, look at your job, look at your body, look at the amount of money in your bank. All of it has been created by your mind, by the story you’re telling yourself.

This is really good news. I just want you to own the experience because if you want something different than what you have all you have to do is change your mind about it. Start thinking more useful thoughts because remember there are not good thoughts or bad thoughts. There are not right thoughts or wrong thoughts. There are just useful thoughts that get us the results we want and then there are un-useful thoughts that not only get us the results we don’t want but don’t get us the results that we really do want.

So why don’t you just take this one thought of mine and start practicing, everything always works out. So whatever’s on your mind right now, anything you’re concerned about, anything you’re worrying about, I want you to answer that thought with, you know what, everything always works out. I don’t even really need to think about that anymore. We are creating our reality with our thoughts. So you have to pay attention to what you’re thinking.

Now, in my life, everything has always worked out. This is what’s true. Isn’t that kind of crazy that I believe that? And it does, everything always works out. Nothing has not worked out. So I want you to see this in your own life, if you borrow this thought and start practicing this thought instead of wasting all of your energy worrying, leaking all of your energy into the future of worry. For sure if you’re thinking that the worst thing is going to happen, I promise you, you will create that for yourself. You will keep over and over and over creating experiences that you do not want.

So this is the power we have in our own life, our mind is our most powerful tool, is our most powerful possession. It belongs to us. My mind is 100% mine. I get to determine how it thinks, what it’s focused on, I get to do that, and you get to do that too. So, become the most powerful woman in your life when you practice and get into the habit of thinking thoughts on purpose and everything always works out will be one of your most beneficial thoughts, one of your most powerful useful thoughts. So everything always works out.

And this is why, so I have three priorities in my life, that’s it. My life is pretty simple. It is extraordinary but it is simple because I have so much clarity. So clarity is the key here. You have to know what you want. And most women our age do not know what they want because you guys, we weren’t raised to explore what we wanted. And we weren’t given the sky’s the limit to what you want. We were mostly told who we were supposed to be to support everybody else’s wantings.

So I’m giving you full permission, which I do every single day here to want what you want. And if you don’t know what you want, I want you to start exploring, start paying attention to what other women are doing. And even if you’re a reader, even in stories you’re reading, even if you’re watching movies or programs. You are drawn to women who you probably admire. You’re drawn to women who are living a life that you’re attracted to. Pay attention to them.

Pay attention to how they look. How they speak. The things that they spend their time doing every day. The way that they show up. The energy they bring to the world. Pay attention to those things about the women you’re drawn to because you’re going to discover some of the things that maybe you want for yourself. Start making a list.

So this month I got to start my new group of 10 women, my January group that is phenomenal. Every single woman in the group is extraordinary. I love them all so much already. I’m going to get to know them very well in the next six months. And I’m going to make sure that they get everything that they come for when they coach with me for the next six months. So there’s going to be a lot of work. So the first thing that I asked them this week was, “What do you want?” And not very many of them knew exactly what they wanted. It’s just like, “Well, I don’t really what to want.”

So we have a little exercise in my workbook, I think it’s on page 15, it’s just list, there’s only 12 lines on it, list everything that you want on these 12 lines. What I told them that I want them to get really good at is wanting so many more than 12 things. And I want them to get really good at being able to know what they’re really good at, what they appreciate about themselves, what they admire about themselves, what they love about themselves. This is what I’ve gotten so good at. I’ve gotten so clear, so much clarity about what I want and who I am.

And I’m really good at being proud of myself and loving myself. I love so many, I could probably tell you 100 things right now that I love about myself and I appreciate about myself. And I promise you, five years ago I could not do that. I didn’t know how to do that. And my brain has changed so much in the last five years. I am so much more into who I am, very much more connected to who I am and where I’m headed. You know I don’t spend much time in the past.

And I know for sure that I don’t leak very much energy in indecision, or in worry, or in self-doubt because I know that everything always works out. And I know that I’m going to create every single thing that I want. And I know that how to do that is to think thoughts on purpose. And those thoughts I write down every single day. And like I told you last week with Don’t Get Hooked, the hook would just be that I’m thinking about something that’s not written down on my page, intentional thinking for the day.

I’m not going to stray from the things that I am here to do today. I have so much clarity on that. That’s why everything always works out. I have so much evidence in my life to prove that thought true. So I keep very easily believing that thought. And it’s just one of the thoughts that I think automatically. Well, don’t worry, everything always works out. I make my plans and I create so much goodness in my life and so many good results in my life. So I couldn’t be more excited about a year.

For sure 2023 will be my best year ever, every day this month has been so powerful for me, even the days I was sick because I take such good care of myself. I am my first and foremost priority. It’s me, it’s not my husband, it’s not my kids, it’s not even my grandbabies, it’s me. I am my first and foremost priority. So I make sure I get every single thing that I want and that I need. It’s all up to me. I own the whole experience.

I set up my days to make sure that I take care of my mental health, I take care of my emotional health, I take care of my physical health. And I take care of my spiritual health every single day and it shows. It shows in the life that I’m living. It show’s in the way I spend my time. It shows in the health of my body. It shows in the energy that I bring every day, a very optimistic, positive love-filled energy, love for every single person in my life, in my story. So I just keep overriding my primitive brain. I keep retraining my brain to the next level, that’s the key.

So I am my first and foremost priority. I have three priorities. I have three, that’s it. I don’t have 10, I have three. I am my first priority. I take really good care of myself. It is my most important job, lots of time and energy on myself. It’s the opposite of selfish or the old kind of selfish that we were kind of raised with, it’s bad to be selfish. I’m just like, “No, it’s good to be selfish in this kind of a way.” It benefits everybody that I love. It benefits the world when I make myself a priority. No one has to think about me. I don’t require any of that. I don’t think that anyone has to be thinking about me. I’ve got me.

You see how that works? You don’t have to have your feelings hurt if your grown kids aren’t thinking about you because they shouldn’t be. You should be thinking about you. You don’t have to have your feelings hurt if your partner’s not thinking about you, he or she shouldn’t be because you’ve got you, you’re thinking about you. They should be thinking about themselves. They should be taking care of themselves. Such a different way of relating to people. It’s so much healthier, so much more life-giving, everybody gets to do what they want and live the life they’re here to live.

I’m going to go first, I’m going to be the example of that in my lane, in my life, in my sphere of influence. So this is what I want you to do. I want you make yourself your priority because when you do that, and you take care of your mental, emotional, physical, spiritual health first and foremost you feel so good. And everything you give to your family is top-notch, is healthy. It doesn’t come from codependency or people-pleasing. You’re doing it because you genuinely want to with this energy of love and generosity that feels so right and so good.

So number one priority, I’m my own priority and I really want you to be your number one priority. My second priority is my family for sure. My husband, madly obsessed with him. My kids, my daughter, my son, my son-in-law, madly obsessed with them. I love them so much. My grandbabies, over the Moon, dreamily, magically obsessed with Goldie and Dolly. So these are my people, but I love me more than every single one of them. I put myself first and that’s the reason that I can love them so well and in a way that doesn’t feel like I need something from them.

I do not need anything from them. I want them to live the exact life they’re living. Whatever life they want to live, that’s what I want for them, that’s what I support for them. Can you see the power in that? It always works out. Everything always works out for my family because of the way that I’m living, because of the way that I’m thinking. This is me having my experience with the people I love the most. I love the way that I love my husband, my kids, my grandbabies.

And then in that circle are my brother and sister. So I love my brother and sister, they mean so much to me. And so I want to tell you a quick little story. Now, they both have big lives and there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for them. They don’t require anything from me. My brother and sister ask nothing of me, and I ask nothing of them. But we have this amazing healthy vibrant relationship with each other. My brother lives in Germany. My sister lives right around the corner but she has a huge life here. She has tons of friends, she travels a ton.

And I love all of that. I love just being their sister and it’s so fun and so inspiring to have siblings like I have. And we, all three of us live on a very high level in life. And we all keep up-levelling and keep creating big lives for ourselves. So we’re very similar, though our everyday-ness looks a little bit different. So you’re going to be listening to this or I don’t know when you’re going to be listening to this but I’m recording it of course ahead of time. But what I thought was going to happen next week is not happening. Something different is happening instead.

And I had just decided – so I’m going to tell you this story. I want to expand this story and tell you a little bit more because it’s such a good story. But I’m going to just tell you a little bit about the decision I made to switch my week, next week. I was all in, paid a ton of money to go to this mastermind, this 200K mastermind that I’m in. And I bought another round and our kickoff in person was at this very fancy hotel in Cabo next week for a whole week. And I was all in and it was non-refundable.

And I was 100% sure I was going to that but something else came up, another invitation, a family event in Washington, DC, the exact same dates. So once I got the invitation I was like, “Okay, everything always works out.” Now, what do I want? What do I really want? So the process was of the decision that I made, the thinking, the thoughts that I thought on purpose, first of all, it will all work out. Second, of all, whatever decision that I make is going to be the right decision. I’m going to have my back all from beginning to end that I made the right decision.

I’m going to be all in on whatever decision I make. So I got this family invitation to go to this amazing event in Washington, DC. The invitation was for me and my brother and my sister and then all my cousins. And my cousins, I think I’ve told you a little bit about my cousins. We were raised together. There’s 13 of us, McCarthys, and we’re just awesome, all of us are awesome and we’re super tight. We try and do a family reunion every single year. We all show up for each other, a pretty extraordinary incredible family that I come from.

So the invitation came and I knew I was going to have to choose between the mastermind that I was all in on, that was non-refundable, that I was really looking forward to or the family event. And you know what I decided? If my brother and sister are going I’m 100% in, I’m going. Not that I didn’t want to be there if they weren’t because I really wanted to do both things, but I couldn’t do both things. So it really was just kind of an exercise and an opportunity for me to decide what I wanted, to make the decision and then to have my own back.

So I sent my brother and sister an email. They were both in. I was in. I let everyone know in Cabo that I wasn’t going to be there after all. I forfeited my money. And I bought my plane ticket to Washington, DC. I got my awesome hotel room in Washington, DC. I switched from bathing suits and shorts and darling little summer fun dresses for the week to coats and boots and a whole different wardrobe. I planned all that out. I am all packed.

I am ready to go, and I can’t wait to tell you all about this event that I’m going to in Washington, DC with my brother, with my sister, with my siblings. I mean with my cousins. It’s going to be epic, I promise you. So if you follow me on my Instagram, my private Instagram page you will probably see a couple of pictures and I can’t wait, super excited. But here is the thing, I’m such a good decision-maker because I know what I want. I know what my priorities are. My first priority is myself.

My second priority is my family, the people that I love the most. I just rarely miss an opportunity to be with them. If I have the chance I will choose them. And that really is choosing me. And then my third priority is my business/clients. These are the three things that I spend all of my time thinking about and knowing for sure that whatever decisions I make it’s the right decision because everything always works out and I am all in on my decisions.

And I just go and make it a really good time, every single day I do that with this clarity of what I want, of who I am, of where I’m headed are all of these decisions, all of these practices and little habits that I practice and I’m committed to every single day. Are they adding up to where I’m headed? Are they aligning with the goals for 2023? Absolutely yes. So not going to the mastermind and going to DC instead means that going to DC is the best thing for my clients. Is the best thing for my business, does line up for all made goals for 2023 because of my clarity and my priorities.

I enjoy all of them much. I never do anything I don’t want to do. I do not do anything out of obligation or because I think if I don’t do it someone’s going to be mad at me, or their feelings are going to be hurt, none of that nonsense. It’s okay if people get their feelings hurt, it’s okay. I don’t even think about that anymore. I just think about what do I want. And then I choose that. That’s how I live a life that I get up every single morning so excited about, I love, love, love it. Once I’ve made my decision, I’m super clear about it, I’m all in on it.

I’m not thinking about Cabo anymore, 100%, you guys, I’m not thinking about Cabo. All I’m thinking about is Washington, DC and I can’t wait. I do not allow my brain to think about Cabo or think a thought like, you made the wrong decision. I never think that thought anymore. I just decided a long time ago I would never think that thought. I always make the right decision, and everything always works out.

So it is so helpful, I know how to constrain my mind. I know how to constrain my thoughts. And going to DC is the very best thing for my life, for me, for my family and for my business, for my clients, for sure.

Okay, so hope your January was as motivating, inspiring, as magical, as productive as mine has been so far. And I want you to look forward to what you’re going to be doing tomorrow, by writing everything down, exactly what you’re going to be thinking about, exactly what you’re going to be eating, exactly what you’re going to be drinking line by line, hour by hour and stick to it and keep practicing that. That was your practice for January, that will change your life I promise you.

And then I want you to start practicing the thought and writing down the thought, every day everything always works out. So stop worrying. Worry is so not helpful or useful, it’s just a distraction. And then if you are a client of mine you’re considered an alumni of Kym Showers Life Coach. I don’t know if I’m going to have spots by the time you listen to this, left from my February 1st class of alumni. But you guys, we’re going to dive deep right off the bat. We’re going to get to work on whatever it is you’re working on.

If you want to uplevel your life for the rest of the year, 100% you will if you commit to this group. I am going to help you if you want to write a book. If you want to launch a podcast. If you just want to learn how to set boundaries with your grown kids. If you want to have a better relationship with your partner. If you want to be a strong independent woman. If you just want some clarity on how to line up your priorities we’ll get to work immediately and have so much fun together.

And you will be coming to my amazing, magical life-changing retreat May 5th and 6th of this year, my very first retreat. That’s going to be so epic. It’s going to be two days of teaching, of coaching, of all kinds of bright new ideas for yourself, of connection, of deep connection. Just being together will be life-changing for all of us, I 100% guarantee it. So I hired a really cool event planner and we’ve just already started working on ideas for the two days. It will be so worth your while, just the two days are going to be worth you paying the money to get in this group.

And then on top of that, you get coached in a group of very powerful women every single week. It’s going to change you in ways that you can’t even imagine right now, I promise you. So go grab your spot. Go to my website kymshowerslifecoach.com, grab your spot there and you’ll be in. Okay, I love you all so much, thank you for showing up today. Have the best week and I will see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.