Ep 157. Becoming Your Own Hero

I’m Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, the final episode, number 157, Becoming Your Own Hero.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Hey, my friends out in the podcast land, welcome back to Reinvented After 40. This is the final episode. I know, it’s crazy. I just made the decision a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion because I knew I needed a break and I knew that something was stirring in me. I am supposed to be working on and want to be working on, I don’t even know what it is yet, and want to create. So this is what happens when you become your own hero. You trust yourself, you love yourself, you give yourself every single thing that you want and you need and you desire, and that’s what I do every single day.

I have become my own hero and this podcast, you guys, has been a pivotal, important part of me becoming my own hero. I want to pass on these ideas to you. First of all, I want to thank you for showing up week after week. I am just shy of 200,000 downloads of Reinvented After 40. I started this podcast three years ago when I was 60 years old, one version of myself, and now I’m 63 years old, a totally different version of myself. And so I know that it’s time to create something different that is going to get me to my goals, get me to the next version of myself. So that is why this is the final episode.

Now, more than likely, I am going to be starting another podcast, so you can be thinking about that. It’s going to have a different name. It’s going to look different. But I don’t really know anything other than that, so I’m not committed to that, but I’m committed to working on something that is going to be very exciting for me to do.

I really do want to thank my podcasting team. They are extraordinary. They have made this so easy for me. I was thinking about when I first started the podcast, you guys, I thought I was going to be recording it in my closet. I had no idea what I was doing. I was scared to death. I didn’t know how I was going to come up with even the first 10 episodes, let alone 157 episodes. I wrote everything out word for word and just read it when I was recording it. I didn’t know how to set up my microphone. I didn’t know anything. My podcasting team has helped me so much and has just partnered with me beautifully and just has made this seamless and easy for me week after week.

And of course now I sit down with my microphone on my dining room table looking at the ocean with no notes and I just talk to you. So they’re extraordinary, they’re amazing and I just thank them so much and I know they’re obviously listening to this so I love you guys so much. So thank you guys, my listeners, my faithful listeners week after week showing up. It is so fun knowing that you’re on the other side of this and I am talking directly to you.

Also, I want to encourage you to stay connected, I’d love to stay connected with you to come and follow me on Instagram because that’s where I do spend all of my time. This is where you can get daily encouragement, inspiration, motivation from me because I’m on Instagram every single day. This is where you will get information as far as like what I’m doing next, any information about coaching. You can go to my website, kymshowerslifecoach.com. You can work with me privately and one-on-one sessions are for eight weeks. So you come work with me privately for two months and I will coach you to the place you want to go. They’re extremely transformational or you can work with me in a small group for six months.

So you have two choices there, to come and get coached by me on a weekly basis and become your own hero. Because this is why we’re here, my friend, is to become our own hero. And the becoming is the daily practice of change, of changing, of having something that we are working towards. And we have to be willing to do the work. And this is where coaching is so clutch. It is so helpful and so useful. And honestly, I don’t know a better coach than me. I love the way I coach. I love the transformations my clients get. And if you’ve never worked with me, I highly recommend it.

If you’re struggling with anything. If you don’t even know what I’m talking about as far as like becoming your own hero, I can help you so very much. If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode about decluttering your life, that has a lot to do with it. You have to be willing to let go of who you are now, and that’s like across the board in every area of your life. Be willing to let things go, especially when you’re in the second-half of life. We are so afraid to let things go because of the investments we’ve made. And I know exactly how to let things go very easily because I’m so future focused.

And this is becoming your own hero. We do not have to depend on anyone else. We do not have to trust anyone else. When we learn how to depend on us, when we show up for ourselves on a daily basis, we do what we said we were going to do, we’re clear, we’re direct, we’re impeccable with our word, we really do become a different version of ourselves. We’re never the victim, ever, ever, ever. We’re always the hero of our own life. And this is the work, and this is where coaching with me will change you 100% guarantee it, my friend.

So you can go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up to work with me privately for the next two months or sign up for my next group and jump in my next small group, you’ll hear from me right away and you’ll love, love, love it. I guarantee it.

So becoming your own hero and becoming the next version of yourself, letting everything in your past go, reinventing the story that you tell yourself in your head every single day about you and your life, becoming like the version of you that you’ve always dreamt of. If you have somebody in your mind who you admire and you respect and you love the way that she lives her life, I want you to pay attention to her. Pay attention to the details of how she shows up to her life. I guarantee she is the hero of her own life, and you can get ideas and motivation and inspiration from her.

Also, it takes work. It takes grit. It takes determination. It takes knowing that you’re not going to want to do it in the moment. And that’s why my tool of planning tomorrow today is so important, because our brain loves to put off everything till tomorrow, right? So whatever you’re really wanting to change in your life, when it comes right up to the moment of taking action on it, your brain’s going to go, oh, let’s just wait. Let’s just put it off. Let’s do it. Well, I promise let’s do it tomorrow. And then tomorrow never comes.

So that’s why I use the tool. And when you come work with me, you get the book, you get my Plan Tomorrow Today planner, and I will teach you how to use that. I use it faithfully every single day, and I have for the last eight years. I plan tomorrow today because anything that my brain wants to put off till tomorrow is something that I really want to do. So then I have retrained my brain to get up every day, and my day is already planned because I had planned it yesterday. And I keep doing that, and then I get up every day and my day is planned. So there aren’t any decisions to make, I just go straight to my planner, and I start taking action in my day, and I don’t stop until everything is checked off. I would love to teach you how to do that. That is becoming your own hero.

And you have to be willing, when you become your own hero, you have to be willing to give up your comfort zone, right? So what’s comfortable for you right now, you have to be willing to go out on a limb, let’s say, where it’s uncomfortable, maybe where you’ve never been before, kind of like I did when I started this podcast. I was so nervous. I had so much self-doubt. I had so much fear. That was back, that was three years ago. I still had a lot of drama in my brain about people judging me and what are people going to think and it’s not going to be good enough and all of that.

And let me tell you something, I mean, one of the biggest wins for me in doing this podcast, starting this podcast, even when I was terrified, is that I literally have no concerns anymore about getting things right, about not doing it right or not doing it good enough. I have no drama about what other people are going to say or what other people are going to think. Because I have outgrown that. I literally don’t care. And I don’t care because I don’t even think about that anymore. I’m not thinking about other people’s opinions or other people’s judgments of me because I have created such a profound opinion of my own about myself. It’s so strong and so profound. And I have this way of thinking about myself that there is no room for even and considering anyone else’s opinions or thoughts about me.

So this is becoming your own superhero. And what’s required to become your own hero, to become your own superhero, is to get out of your comfort zone. Get out where it feels scary. So in other words, face your fears. Do the thing that you’ve been talking about for 10 years, right? Do that thing that you want to do so bad. Go do it. Your brain’s going to be freaking out. I want you to know that is so normal and it is required. It is the human condition. And this is, when you want to get past that, you have to do the scary thing. And on the other side of doing the scary thing is you being your own hero. It’s like, oh my gosh, I’m so proud of myself.

I’m so proud of this podcast. I’m so proud of Reinvented After 40 and all the goodness that it’s created in the world for so many women. And I know there’s a lot of men listening too, and even for the men. But I created it for all of us women who have hit 40, 50, 60, know that a change is so necessary. Know that maybe you feel like you’ve been climbing this ladder for years and you’ve reached the top of it and there’s nothing there. It’s so different. It’s not even leaning against the right building. It’s all so crazy when you hit 40 and 50 and 60 and everything seems so different. And maybe you’re disappointed in life in general, or maybe you’re disappointing your people, maybe you’re disappointed in yourself.

This is why I created this podcast so that we could get out of that, so we could start living a completely different life on purpose. And I love thinking like that. And I’m always recreating my life. I’m always regenerating my thoughts and sorting out the useful thoughts from the unuseful thoughts, because I only want to think useful thoughts from here on out. I only want to do things that I absolutely am obsessed with from here on out. I want to have my goals so that I have something that I’m really working towards. So I push myself every single day. I challenge myself every single day. This is the life that I crave. This is the life I love. This is the life I enjoy so much.

And I love to create energy in my body every day. That’s why I go to bed early every single night. You guys, I get at least 10 hours of sleep every single night. I sleep in my own spacious bedroom suite. I have a suite. I have a beautiful bedroom that is so simple and so happy and so peace-filled for me. And then I have a beautiful bathroom that belongs only to me, and I have a beautiful closet that belongs only to me. So I just value my rest so much. I also value my play. I value – like now I’ve taken up reading for fun. So I treat that like it’s very valuable to me. And so I give myself at least a couple hours every day where I sit and I read for fun. I read novels for fun. And it’s been so good for my brain. It’s been so good for my spirit to do that.

And then I value my work, obviously, so very much. I love working. I love coaching. I’m here on this planet to coach. I love coaching women. I love watching week after week, the transformation, the aha moments, the changes, the happiness, the goal setting, the reaching of the goals. I love watching these women, I love connecting with my clients, I love these groups, I love coaching one-on-one, one-on-one is so valuable, but also I love my small groups. The small groups are amazing and any of my small groups will tell you because they keep telling each other and keep telling me week after week. And also because they keep signing up for the next round. You guys keep signing up for the next round, which I love so much.

Just how valuable it is to meet together once a week and get coached and stay in touch. See, like anything that we’re struggling with, coaching helps us figure that out and feel so much better about it. Coaching helps you create a different kind of relationship with yourself. You’re able to fall in love with you on purpose. It helps you get so much braver about being out in the world and getting past what we think other people are thinking about us.

Like, I literally don’t care about what anyone’s thinking about me, so I pass that energy on to my clients, and they are now starting to not care about what other people are thinking. They’re just so involved in their own journey and their own life, doing the work to trust themselves, watch their brain, get rid of old ways of thinking, old habits, ways of showing up every day, and getting into new habits.

I’m really good at getting my clients working out every day, eating right every day. I am just the habit guru, I’m the habit hero, I’m the habit queen. I think habits are everything and we really can have only useful habits in our life if we choose to. That is becoming your hero, is setting yourself up to win every single day. I do not have one bad day. I refuse to have any bad days. I know it’s possible to make every day, I call it like my birthday, where I’m just like elevating myself every day. I motivate myself. I inspire myself. I elevate myself. I encourage myself. That is the life of a superhero.

I want to encourage you to know what you’re capable of, what’s possible for you in your future to stop being past focused. This is what I’d love you to do. This brought it up in my mind. I wanted to remind you, go back and re-listen to all of my podcast episodes. This will keep your mind busy for a long time. 157 episodes is a brilliant library of a podcast that is so useful for you. And you can even like watch my own transformation from beginning to end, how I have become the next better, stronger, more confident version of myself.

This is what you do when you’re in the process of becoming. We’re supposed to be changing and becoming. So that requires us to be present-focused and future-focused and not past-focused. Because what got me here will not get me where I want to go. What got you here, you guys, isn’t going to get you where you want to go, so you have to reinvent yourself. You have to recreate your thoughts, your stories, your habits, your daily habits. And this is the change that’s going to require you to get out of your comfort zone, to be uncomfortable, to be afraid, which I’m calling fearless. Fearless is doing the scary thing, taking your fear with you, not making excuses, right?

So not trying, there is no trying. There’s only doing or not doing. You’re either doing it or you’re not doing it. You’re not trying to be your own superhero. You are either becoming her or you’re not becoming her. I just want you to know that there’s no trying. So I’m always becoming. I am her now. And the whole trick, the whole mindset of becoming your own hero is that you have to get a clear picture of who she is, how she lives her life, how she shows up for herself. She’s not indulging in any kind of victim mentality. She’s not indulging in any kind of self-doubt. She believes in herself on purpose. She loves herself on purpose. She holds herself to the highest standard on purpose. She does not allow a bunch of nonsense and drama into her life on purpose.

There’s lots of pretty clear boundaries, right? So boundary setting is something we work on when you come and hire me to be your life coach. I will teach you how to set clear boundaries in your life for your own sake. Boundaries for you and boundaries the people you love the most. It will help you so very much.

So you are supposed to become your own hero. And in the becoming of this new version of you, it will cost you the old version of you. It will cost you the version of you who you are now. You have to be willing to let her go, to thank her and to set her free. So that means it’s going to cost you relationships, that might cost you friends, it’s going to cost you maybe being understood, being liked, and none of that even matters.

None of that matters to me because I will never sacrifice myself for anybody else again. I will never put myself on the back burner. I will never disrespect myself or disregard myself just because I want someone to think something about me. I will always be my number one fan. I will always be the one I love the most. I will always be the one that I treasure and respect and highly regard the most. I will always put myself first in my own life. And this is the work.

So you have to be willing to let go of everything that you’re clinging so valiantly to. None of it matters. The people that are meant to be in your life will be in your life. You do not have to drag anyone with you, my friend. You’re dragging so much with you that is not serving you. We have to be willing to open up our clenched hands and let everything go and focus on becoming our own hero. This is the journey. This is the work. This is the joy of our life, reinvention, rethinking, refreshing, creating a life that we’re absolutely obsessed with.

It is so possible. You can be obsessed with every single thing about yourself, every single thing about your work, every single thing about your schedule, every single thing about the people in your life, every single thing about the way that you show up, I’m telling you, this is what’s possible for you. This is the becoming. This is the work.

And I have big plans for myself in the next three years, and I’d love for you to come with me. If in fact this is something that sounds intriguing to you, interesting to you, and compelling enough for you to show up for yourself, to pay the money, to come and work with me, and maybe work with me for years. I have clients who have been working with me for years and have literally transformed their life next level, next level, next level. As I go next level, my clients go next level.

That’s what I’m all about. I promise you I will never stay the same. I will always be changing and growing and evolving, being an example of what’s possible for you. Come join me on Instagram every day. Get your daily dose of Kym Showers’ encouragement, well-being, inspiration, motivation. Know that you are on a hero’s journey. You are never the victim. You are always the hero. You just get up every single morning and you decide, you’re the hero. You decide this is the day that I’m going to do everything that I told myself I’m going to do because I’m worth it. And no one can interrupt it. No one’s worth it more than you’re worth it in your own life.

And this is the work for us women in the second-half of life. It’s a joy. It’s filled with love. It’s filled with so much badassery. And I couldn’t be more obsessed with this journey. I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad you have been here and will continue to follow along. So go to Instagram, Kym Showers Life Coach on Instagram. Also, go to TikTok. Start yourself a TikTok account because I’m on TikTok as well, and I’m building up my TikTok account. So I am on Instagram and TikTok. Come join me for daily doses of love, of encouragement, of motivation and inspiration.

I will be back, I don’t know when, but sometime after my break and it will be something so fabulous, so wonderful, so exciting, and I can’t wait to see what it is. So that’s what I have for you today on this last episode of Reinvented After 40. I couldn’t be more proud of this podcast. I’m so grateful for it and everything it’s given me, the way that it’s pushed me and changed me and challenged me week after week. I haven’t missed one week in three years of podcasting. I love that about myself, I trust that about myself, and it has literally elevated me next level several times over.

This is how you become your own superhero. You do the thing you’ve always wanted to do that you don’t even think you can do, and then you keep showing up and doing it, no matter what. You never let your brain talk you out of it. And then all of a sudden, you guys, you have a library, a beautiful, colorful, helpful, inspiring, motivating, energizing library of a podcast that will always be available to listen to and to be encouraged by. And I’m so proud of it and so grateful for it and so grateful for you, all of my faithful, beautiful listeners. I love you all so much and I will talk to you very soon.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.