Ep 150. Get the Life That You Want

I’m Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 150, Get the Life That You Want.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Hello my friends out in the podcast land, how are you today? Welcome to my show, Reinvented After 40 with Kym Showers, that is me, episode number 150. This show that I started when I was 60 years old, I am 63 years old now. And I’m so proud of myself for this podcast, this show, all of this goodness that I put out week after week. You guys, 150 weeks that I have not missed putting out an episode. That’s something to be so proud of. I’m proud of me and I’m proud of you, especially all of you that have listened to all 150 episodes.

I know your life has been elevated and you have changed and hopefully fallen so in love with yourself and your life because of my show, I think that’s what this has done for me. It’s helped me get the exact life I want. I am living my dream life. I go and get the life that I want every single day and I know it’s 100% up to me. That’s why I confidently sit before this microphone today and tell you, you can 100% get the life you want no matter what age you are, no matter what your circumstances are. It is not about your circumstances.

If you want to change your circumstances, fine. I’m all in, I’m all for it. But just remember, wherever you go, whatever changes you make on the outside, you’re still going to take you and your brain and your nervous system with you. So, let’s change ourselves on the inside and then everything on the outside is so much easier to change. So, the life we want is something that feels so good to us and every single day when we get up, that’s the life we want. We want to feel confident. We want to feel magical. We want to feel in love.

We want to feel gritty and resilient and resourceful. We want to be the kind of women that can handle anything that comes our way, anything that life brings our way because life is happening all of the time. And the thing is about getting the life you want, get clear about what it is you actually do want. We have to get super clear about that because that becomes our order to the universe like we’re sitting down and we’re placing an order to our waitress, who happens to be the universe. And we’re saying, “This is what I would like.”

So, we have to be able to align ourselves, our mindset, our nervous system with the life that we want. So, when the universe comes to deliver it to us, we are ready for it, we’re at the place to receive it. Our life isn’t filled with a bunch of junk that is taking up all of our energy. We have set ourselves up to get the life that we have ordered, to create the life that we want. We are in charge of that and so every day I set myself up.

What I’ve been talking about on my Instagram this week, in particular and I’m recording this an entire 10 days ahead of time. You guys get this Thursday, maybe July 25th. And I am recording this on Monday, July 15th, so I’m way ahead of schedule. I set myself up every single day. I’m working ahead. I’m loving my life. I’m energetic. I take really good care of myself. So, I want you to know I actually have the life I want. I get the life I want every single day. And the way that I do that is the way that I think about things.

So, I’m no longer hesitating. I’m no longer worrying about other people’s opinions about my life, don’t care, literally, not even thinking about that. And what we don’t think about is not even on our radar. So, it’s not getting in our way if we’re not actually thinking about it. So, I may have subconscious thoughts, but I even work on those and I am fine with that. I have this awareness around that and that’s fine at 63 years old. But what I do work on is living a very simple life, a very intentional life.

And I don’t over-complicate my life with thoughts about worrying about what other people might be thinking or letting other people down or thinking about what other people are doing or any of that. I have gotten to a place where I trust myself. I feel safe being me. I have very clear goals. I have very clear values. I am so proud that I put myself first. I say that out loud all of the time to all of you and on my Instagram. So, you guys, follow me on Instagram stories because I just take you guys along with me on my very simple days.

But you know what I do and what you’re going to see is, I keep a very high vibe and I am very consistent and my life is very simple, but I make it magical. It feels so good to be me in my life and I don’t hide anything from you. I’m so proud of the way that I live my life, so I’m not shy about any of, I don’t know, my mistakes or any of my faults. I’m not afraid of being judged. So that’s the bottom line, I’m not afraid of being judged. I’m not afraid of being criticized. So that’s why I get the life I want. So, I’m not hiding, I’m saying things out loud. I’m proud that I put myself first. I feel safe being me.

Oh, my gosh, you guys, I put these podcasts out, I talk openly and honestly. I do not write them out, they’re just off the cusp. I’m just telling you what I’m thinking about out loud and I’m putting it out in the universe. Every once in a while I’ll get some judgments or some criticisms and I’m totally fine with that. I can agree with maybe some of them, but I don’t think it’s a problem at all. More than anything I’m just so proud of myself that I have that much faith in myself, I have that much respect, I have that much confidence.

And I have such a high self-concept that I can just put myself out in the universe, put myself out in the world, daily on Instagram, take you along with how I’m living my life every single day, openly and honestly. And I’m not trying to manage anyone’s story about me or anyone’s thoughts about me or anyone’s feelings about me. So, I just let everyone think whatever they want, and I can agree with some of it and I don’t agree with some of it and I’m not even thinking about that to be honest with you.

I am just getting the life I want every day because I feel so safe being me and I keep everything super simple, including, I mean, so much of my life is so simple. My schedule is so simple and spacious and I stick to the plan. Everything that’s on my planner, plan tomorrow today planner, and that’s what you get when you come to work with me, you plan tomorrow today. And then you get up and you don’t have really any decisions to make because you’ve made them all today.

So tomorrow when I get up, I’m just going to get up so excited about whatever I planned because what I plan today for tomorrow is every single thing that I want to do. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I don’t do anything out of obligation. That’s how you simplify your life. That’s how you get the life you want. I am willing to let people be wrong about me. I am willing to let people down, let people be frustrated if I’m not following their plan and what they think I should be doing. I don’t care what you think I should be doing.

I’m going to do exactly what I want to do and that’s how you get the life you want. I’m super honest with my husband. I have a very happy husband and yet I do exactly what I want. And so many people, I think a lot of you who are new to me, and to the way that I live and to the way that Jeff and I live as a couple, because we are married 40 years on August 4th, 2024. I’ve been celebrating intensely all year, but especially this last month, but we have been very happily married for 40 years. But in the last 10 years I have stopped making him accountable for my happiness.

I have taken full accountability and responsibility for my own happiness. So, I just do what I want and I just let him know what I’m doing. And I want to be a super fun partner and a super happy partner. I mean, is there a better partner than a happy partner? I say no. So, I get the life I want by making myself so happy, making sure I create the exact days that I want, show up in the way that I want to show up. And then I’m just a little happy bundle of energy all day long.

I get plenty of rest, plenty of sleep. I schedule all of that out. I don’t think it can be too much. I don’t think I can be too much. I don’t think my life can be too much. Those are all just outside opinions, and even if it is all too much, why is that even a bad thing?

I was just coaching a client and she goes, “I just don’t want them to think I’m a gold digger.” And I go, “Well, what’s a gold digger? Why don’t we just let them think you’re a gold digger? Why don’t we let everyone think we’re both gold diggers? Well, how does a gold digger act?”

A gold digger, in my mind, I’m like, why not just go and enjoy what you have, live it up, have fun out loud. And if that’s being a gold digger, if that’s loving a man who has a lot of money and he wants to share all of his money with you. Oh my gosh. I’m like, “Yeah, let’s go. Let’s go have a blast.”

So, I’m just saying, you can have an attitude like that to where you can literally, my friend, set yourself free from other people’s opinions. And that’s what I mean when I say, “Yeah, let them think what they want and even agree with them on some points.” That’s totally fine. We’re not here to be perfect human beings. We’re here to live a life that we’re obsessed with, to dive in and figure it all out as we go along. And I really have gotten a lot of things figured out at 63 years old that I really wanted to figure out. And at the same time, I have so far to go, so many fun things to figure out in the next 40 years.

And if you’ve been following along, again on Instagram, on my stories, which I really am promoting today, what came up on my feed and I have such an optimistic, positive feed on Instagram. And I’m also on TikTok and I think I’m in the 80s. I have maybe 83 followers, something like that, started with zero. Anyways, follow along on TikTok too. I’m learning TikTok. And one day I’m going to have 5,000 followers. I almost have 5,000 on Instagram.

So, if you’re following along on my Instagram stories, what I’ve found on my feed, it’s a very optimistic feed. So, I don’t listen to any naysayers. I don’t listen to any people who are complaining about their life or other people’s lives or the world in general, I’m just like, “No, don’t want to follow them.” And then anyone that comes on my feed and has all kinds of opinions and blah, blah, blah, I just delete them and block them. I’m like, “No, that’s not why I’m here.”

So, I am here to bring a lot of happiness and goodness and optimism to the world, that is my mission. And to my clients who actually hire me, help them get out of their own way so they can get the life that they deserve, that they want, that they dream of, and that they’re required to live. That’s what we’re all here to do. We have requirements and I think it’s to live our very best life, the life that we dream of, the life that we require, the life that we really want to live. And we’re just in our own way and we have to learn to get out of our own way and that’s why I’m here. I’m here to encourage you and to inspire you to get out of your own way.

And I keep getting out of my own way and that’s why I have so much forward momentum and have all of this energy. And what came up on my feed yesterday was this 102 year old woman and it didn’t say her name, but it was on the Today Show, I believe and she’s stunning. You guys, listen to me, she’s 102 years old. She looks beautiful, stylish, she still works. And they asked her what her mindset is to have lived this long, not only this long, but in such a healthy, vibrant way.

And she said that she has remained curious and you know how I love that word, curious. Curiosity is everything, curiosity over judgment. Every single day our brain loves to go to judgment, but we’re going to retrain it to just get curious in the best possible way. So, this 102 year old woman remains curious about what tomorrow will bring, what next week will bring, what next month will bring, what the next 10 years will bring. Listen to that, she’s thinking like this at 102.

This is what she credits this mindset for being 102 and being happy and healthy and active and still working. I love that because that’s my goal, you know that. So, I’ll be 103 in 40 years, so I have that mindset. I am so future focused. I want you to become future focused. I want you to simplify your life. And the very best way you can simplify your life is to let go, let go, let go, let go. Let go of old stories and regrets and self-doubt that you’ve been dragging along, beating yourself up with. Let all of that nonsense go, it’s all nonsense. Start all over today.

Set yourself free to love yourself, put yourself first, forgive yourself and move forward. And get curious about what you can create in the next 40, 50, 60 years of your life like I am. It changes everything. It motivates me every morning to get up and be so excited about what I’m going to create all day long. And I have just let go of everyone else’s expectations of me and I just have my own. I decide what I want to do, what feels like the best use of this time that I’ve been given.

I have 24 hours every single day. You have 24 hours every single day. That’s so many hours to have this abundant mindset and to use those hours in a way that you feel so energized by and so optimistic by, and that it’s getting you where you want to go. It’s aligned with your values. It’s aligned with your goals. No one gets to decide that except for you, my friend.

If you’re a woman in the second half of life, if you want to get the life that you want, you have to own your life. You have to take full responsibility for your own life, for your happiness. And let go of everybody else’s expectations and learn how to say no, have really clear boundaries and be brave enough to be super clear and direct with the people that you love the most. Yeah, I know I’ve done that for the last 10 years, but you know what? I don’t want to do that anymore.

And let me tell you, I don’t want to do that anymore is good enough reason to stop doing something. You can let people down. They can be wrong about you. They can be right about you. It doesn’t even matter. All that matters is that you start cleaning up your life, you start simplifying your life and getting rid of clutter. You start cleaning up your mind and getting rid of the cobwebs and the cutter and the self-doubt in your own mind and you start loving yourself every single day on purpose. You start treating yourself like the queen that you are.

You start being the boss and the most important person in your own life. I promise you, you’re going to get the life you want. Alright, this was invigorating for me. I hope it was inspiring, invigorating for you. And I really want you to get the exact life that you want. I’m over here living the exact life that I want. And I’m taking full responsibility, full credit for it and oh, my gosh, I’m so proud of myself and I’m so excited about what’s coming the rest of the day today, what’s coming the rest of the week and actually the next 10 years, next 30 years, next 40 years.

That’s the way that I think and I can’t even imagine what I’m going to create with this mindset. And I want you to borrow all of these thoughts and just set yourself free to go and get it, to go get the life you want, my friend. And I’ll talk to you next Thursday.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.