Ep 139. You Can Do It

I am Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 139, You Can Do It.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Hello, my friends in podcast land, in the podcast universe. How are you today? Happy May Day. It is May 1st when I’m recording this. So I have so many exciting things happening in my life that I have chosen, that I have created, that I decided I can do, that I want to do and let me just tell you a few of them. And you already know a few of them. But we are living at our little bungalow, you know this if you’ve been following along on Instagram. Follow along on Instagram, Kym Showers Life Coach. It’s so fun. I post every day.

If you need some encouragement, if you need someone to get in your space every morning and remind you of who you are and that you actually can do it. Whatever you’re thinking that you want to do, you can actually do it. I’m going to tell you, you can do it. So follow me on Instagram. And then I’m so glad you found me in podcast land because this is what I do every single week. I remind you of who you are, what you’re capable of and that you can do it. Whatever you want to do you can do, my friend. And this is what I tell myself every single morning when I get up. You can do it, baby. Let’s go.

So that’s why I titled this podcast, You Can Do It because this is what’s so powerful for me in my own life. I do a lot of stuff. I have a lot going on at 63 years old, that I choose every single day, that I normalize every single day, that I keep getting better at every single day. Because I have this inner voice that I create on purpose. And I tell myself I can do it because I also have this inner voice that tries to get me to think I can’t do it, that creates a little fear and anxiety in me every single day. But my louder voice, my intentional voice, the voice that I practice every day is, you can do it.

So tomorrow is May 2nd and tomorrow my May retreat for my clients begins. So I’ve been working on that, preparing for that. I’m very excited for that. I am almost completely ready. And then also we are remodeling the house that we live in, my white shingle clapboard house on the hill overlooking the ocean is getting a downstairs refresh, reboot, remodel. That was very much needed and I know I’ve told you about this before. The downstairs was very much stuck in the 1980s, which actually we were fine with. We were very cozy down there. It was just, it’s our sleeping rooms and it’s our bathrooms.

And it’s actually very cozy but Jeff’s bathroom shower started leaking and then if you give the mouse a cookie, you know that book, that mouse is going to need a drink of milk. So we not only are remodeling his bathroom, we’re remodeling my bathroom. And while we are at it, we decided to paint everything downstairs, all of our bedrooms, and get all new carpet. So that’s how it is.

And I thought when we started, which was almost seven weeks ago, I think, six or seven weeks ago, I thought we would maybe if I cross my fingers and I stay focused and did my job that we would maybe be back in our house by my May retreat, which would be today. Which we would have had to be back in our house today. But we are really only about halfway through the remodel now. Everything was actually out of my control. I did what I could do and I keep doing what I do really well.

I get my end of the bargain taken care of and I keep encouraging everybody else to move along as quickly as they can. But we are at least four or five more weeks out. So we are still at our little bungalow which is two miles down the road which we are having actually a total blast at on purpose. We are just deciding we love being down there. We are having so much fun together.

Jeff and I are taking afternoon walks at 3:30 every afternoon because we’re just right at the ocean. And sometimes we stop at one of the little restaurants and have a cocktail halfway through our walk. So we’re actually having a really good time down there. But my housekeepers are down there this morning and I decided to bring my microphone and my computer up to the big house while it’s quiet, because no one’s working here this week unfortunately, and record this podcast.

I was going to go get a pedicure, but I thought I don’t really want to get a pedicure. I really want to record my podcast because that’s how I think. It’s just way more fun for me in the mornings to be productive and start just chopping my wood. That’s what I call it. I just start chopping my trees. And I kind of forgot that I needed to record this podcast because I’ve been getting ready for the retreat and doing my videos for my Instagram and my email and all of that and I know I can do it.

I know I can do every single thing I set my mind to and that’s what I want to remind you of this morning, my friend. You can do it. Set your mind to it. Know where your sweet spot is. If your sweet spot is in the mornings like me, make sure you get up and get your work done. You’ll be really so much more confident and feel so much more powerful in your own mind and in your own body if you get up and get your work done first thing in the morning, do not procrastinate.

Procrastination is the best way to waste our energy. It’s the best way to waste our time. Procrastination is the best way to waste even our confidence. So I work really diligently at not procrastinating, at sticking to my plan. And I really want to encourage you to do the same thing because the backend benefits are crazy good. You will be so glad that you’re a woman who doesn’t procrastinate, that you actually plan ahead and you get up and you stick with your plan.

And when your brain is telling you, you can’t do it, I want this to be your reminder to write down, I can do it. Just write it down because if your can’t do it brain is louder than I can do it brain, you need to practice thinking, I can do it on purpose. Because I’m not always going to be with you to remind you that you can do it. So you have to become me in your own life. You have to become your own coach in your own life and tell yourself you can do it and stick with it and be the one who does it and keep showing up for yourself.

You can do any single thing you want to do. And being productive is the best feeling. At the end of the day if you have produced a ton of results in your day, you just started checking off your list of to-do’s and you are so focused and so diligent about it and got in the flow and did not let your lower brain talk you out of it with you can’t do it or put it off, you can do it tomorrow. You did not believe that and you didn’t let that stop you. You will be so happy with yourself. There’s not a better feeling.

I would argue with anyone that would tell me there’s a better feeling than at the end of the day that feeling that I have. And it’s usually when I’m walking with Jeff, so 3:30 now. It’s when he shuts down his business and it’s when I shut down my work. 3:30 is always both of our goals. We’re done and we put our walking shoes on and we go and we’ll blast together, walking and talking. So that feeling of way to go and we kind of high five each other.

It’s such a good partnership when you can do that and if you don’t have that, make one for yourself. Be that for yourself. I am that for myself. This is all new for me to have this new little 3:30 time with my husband. But I’m so glad we created it and honestly, you guys, if you can’t change your mind about something, change your circumstance and that will change your mind. And know that you actually have the power to feel anything you want every single day, all day long.

You just have to decide what it is, get real clear about it and decide how you want to feel and then just create that for you. Start some momentum, get in production mode, and start moving your body. So you can do so much more than what you think you can do, I promise you, 100% you can do 1,000 times more than what you think you can do. So now I’m really good at throwing retreats. So that was my goal, my first retreat was a year ago. This is my third retreat and I’m just good at it and I’m so excited.

I have 17 women coming. I’m so excited about it. I’m so ready for it. We’re going to have a blast. We’re going to learn. We’re going to elevate. We’re going to up-level. I’m so confident about it. I love the connection. I love the energy. I bring all the energy and they show up and just elevate their energy because of it. And I know how to do it and I’m going to keep doing it and that’s how I run my business. That’s how I am in my life. That’s how I am with every room I walk into.

I’m very committed to being who I intentionally want to be every single day. I do not have one bad day. So you can do it too. If I can do it, you can do it. So you know I work out at Orangetheory every single morning, you guys, and my body just gets stronger and stronger and stronger. And what I’m capable of just grows and grows and grows. So I told you I did that dry tri and I just got the results back. You guys, I was the only woman in my age group, I was the only person, there wasn’t even a man in my age group who did the full dry triathlon at Orangetheory, so of course I won.

I was the leader on the leaderboard in my age group. I mean my time was so good I even beat all the women in their 50s and I think I beat most of the women in their 40s. So I just want you to know, I think I was the only person who did the full triathlon because of the fact that people let their brain tell them they can’t do it and so they don’t do it. Or they let their brain tell them that they’re going to come in last or they’re not going to be able to finish. And so they believe their brain and they let their brain talk them out of it.

And I’m telling you, I don’t want you to do that anymore. If you find yourself doing that, I want you to know fear is part of it. Fear isn’t a problem. Anxiety isn’t a problem. We just learn how to welcome it and do it anyways. And then the brain chatter gets less and less and less because we’re not paying that much attention to it anymore because the I can do it chatter is louder for me. And I do it on purpose. I make that chatter louder for me. I can do anything, I know I can do it.

If I see something I want to try, I’ll go try it. I know I’m going to be afraid. I know I’m going to have some anxiety, but I’m so familiar with it and my feelings are never a problem. I’m willing to feel all of it. And this is all such a practice for me. And I really do want to encourage you today with the idea that whatever you’re feeling, if you’re in the middle of something right now and you’re feeling pressured and anxious and you just want to get out of it, you want to quit on yourself. And I know I keep talking about this, but I can relate to this feeling so much.

And I would quit on myself ahead of time and not do the thing that I really wanted to do because I really believed that I couldn’t do it. And I really wanted to get out of the anxiety of waiting and training in it. So now I’m just like, “Oh, no, I can do it.” And this feeling isn’t a problem. I’m just growing my capacity to feel like this, and it’s pressure and it’s anxious. And I would say it’s probably not fun. It’s not a fun feeling, but I am willing to feel it for my future self’s sake.

Because my intention in my life for every single day, for the rest of my life is to grow and to expand and to get stronger and to get smarter and to get braver and to know that for sure. And to get more confident and more competent because I know at 63, you guys, even now I am scratching the surface of my future of what’s possible. I’m going to keep growing and becoming and expanding. So if I can do it, you can do it 100%. And listen, I want you to think like I think. I put my heart and my soul into everything I do and that is why I love, love, love my life.

I love being me in this life that is magical for me. It is magical. It’s magical every single day because I want it to be. I put my heart and soul into my life and you can do it too. It’s an elevated energy. It’s an energy on purpose. It’s a determination and a focus and a way of showing up to my life every single day. I don’t do it perfectly, but I do it on purpose. I do every single thing on purpose.

So I have been talking a lot about our nervous system and our brain and then there’s us. So there’s the spirit of us and then there’s our nervous system that gets triggered, let’s just to say that. I just have been practicing keeping space in between this trigger and me so that I don’t want to react. I want to intentionally respond. I definitely don’t do it perfectly. So the difference between me now and the me that used to react is that I’m so aware of when I’m triggered and I’m so aware of how I can slow everything down.

I had a situation this week where I reacted and I’m actually okay with that and I probably would do it again if the same thing happened. And I don’t feel bad about it at all. It deserved a reaction and I would do it again. And what I want you to know is that I don’t regret it. I’m not mad at myself for reacting. You know what I did? I said what I needed to say then I went for a run to clear my head and to talk to myself and then I let it go. I just let it go and I moved on. You know I’m an onward and upward girl. I had no reason to apologize to anyone. I actually was kind of fierce about the situation.

And now I know what to do moving forward. I’m pretty clear about how I want to move forward. I need to make some adjustments. And I’m going to move forward in my own power and determination. So sometimes a reaction is okay, but most of the time I slow everything down. I don’t react. I intentionally respond. And what I want you to get from this is that the old me if I would have reacted, I would have gone back and been so regretful and so apologetic like I did something wrong. But I didn’t do anything wrong. I had my own back after that.

And I was like, “Girl, you needed to say what you said, and now you know the situation, it was different. Now you know that you can trust yourself. And there’s other people you can’t trust.” And that’s just all information for you moving forward. And I’m going to figure it out as I go, having my own back, being sturdy, being determined, being confident in who I am and what I know. So sometimes a reaction is okay. I’m just telling you that. You don’t have to be mean to yourself about it. Just get clear about it. Have your own back and move forward.

So we don’t get stuck in regret. We don’t get stuck in feeling bad about ourselves. I just don’t do that. I didn’t do anything wrong and I get to just move forward. So if I can do it, you can do it. You can do it, my friend. You can do it. Pull yourself up and out and be in the energy you want to be. Have your own back. Be your best self. Be your highest self. Be your future self and be your encouragement. Be your own inspiration. Be your own motivation.

You know what I’ve been doing the last week? I’ve been listening to a bunch of my own podcasts because they’re so encouraging to me. They remind me of who I am when sometimes I’m stuck in the middle with a lot of pressure on me. They remind me of how I think, how I show up, what I believe about myself, how much I’ve created in my life, how powerful I am in my own life. And I can’t encourage you enough to go back and listen to a bunch of my podcast episodes. They will empower you because they empower me.

It’s been so phenomenal and that’s how I want to show up. That’s how I want to be every single day and that’s who I am every single day. And you can do it too. Be productive, be clear, be persistent, be rigorous in what you are committed to. Most of all, be committed to the idea that you can do anything you want to do, my friend.

And what I want you to do is join my July group, which is my next group. It will be on Tuesday mornings at 9:00am California time, once a week, 20 sessions as a group, two private sessions with me. We’re going to create something magical in your life. I am now selling my retreat separately so that the retreat is no longer included in my group pricing, which brought my group pricing down. It’s very, very low, very affordable, so check that out right now. You have an early bird offer so you will save $500 even extra right now.

So I want you to know that group coaching will change your life. You will love, love, love the women in the group. We are powerful. We are powerhouses. We’re women in the second half of life who want to get better at boundaries, who want to get better at communicating, who want to get better at self-confidence, want to get better at being very productive and living in a high vibe energy. So you will work with me. I am the only coach who works in my program, it is me. You get to work with me.

And then all my clients will get first dibs when I sell my next retreat, which will be November 7th, 8th and 9th in Avila Beach, California. So I love you. Come work with me. And we’ll get to work together, up-leveling, changing, giving you all the encouragement and inspiration that you are longing for. Alright, my friend, I love you. Have the most productive, empowering week and know that you can do anything you set your mind to. See you next Thursday.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.