Ep 104. Keep It Moving

I’m Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 104, Keep It Moving.

Welcome to Reinvented After 40 podcast. I’m your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week, I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life, and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun. Let’s get started.

Hello, my beautiful listeners. How are you, out there in podcast land? Welcome back to my show, that we all love so very much. I have three beautiful, lucky winners for my 100th Episode Podcast Giveaway. I keep forgetting what it’s called, because I was actually celebrating my 100th episode and my new website at the same time.

I made you go to my brand-new website, fill out a form, and then go give me a five stars podcast review on Apple iTunes, and you guys did! Three of you won a pair of AirPods Pros, that I’m going to get in the mail to you ASAP, as soon as I get your home address. That was the one thing I didn’t get from you.

Okay, so I’m going to just announce them right now. I don’t even know you. There were so many reviewers that I actually knew, but the three that won I don’t know. So, this is super fun. Winner number one, your name is Karen Payne. Congratulations. I’m actually going to read to you their reviews. This is Karen Payne’s podcast review for Reinvented After 40. She titled it, “Empowering!”

“As a woman in her second half of life, I have found this podcast to be very empowering! Kym has a way of validating our reasons to live our best lives now, and her enthusiasm to do so is contagious. So happy to have found this life-changing podcast. Happy 100 episodes, Kym! Can’t wait for the next 100!” Thank you so much, Karen. I can’t wait for the next 100, as well. So excited. Email me at Kym@KymShowersLifeCoach.com. Karen, email me your home address and I’ll get those mailed to you.

My winner number two is Claire Moore. So, congratulations Miss Claire Moore. This is your review. She says, “Kym is Future Me!!” That’s what she titled her review. “I am 46 and listening to Kym is like getting advice from a happy and inspired future me. She encourages us all to release our excuses and embrace our own health and happiness with responsible joy, I’m so glad that I found her!!” I’m so glad you found me too, Claire. Yay! You, as well, email me at Kym@KymShowersLifeCoach.com. Email me your home address. Congratulations to you, Miss Claire Moore. I will get those AirPods Pros mailed to you ASAP.

Our third and final winner is Jamie Doolittle. Congratulations, Jamie Doolittle. The title of her review is “Kym is a beacon of light.” She says, “As I approach my 47th birthday with my children still at home and the weight of watching my parents age, my heart can feel heavy and uncertain at times. However, Kym’s podcast has become my weekly source of inspiration and rejuvenation.” I love that. “Listening to Kym share her insights has been transformative. Her perspective on aging is refreshingly positive, reminding me that life doesn’t lose its vibrancy as the years go by. Instead, it takes on new shades of richness and fulfillment. She encourages us to celebrate our accomplishments and passions, regardless of age or external expectations. Her reminder that it’s never too late to pursue our dreams or rediscover ourselves has been a lifeline during this ‘sandwich generation’ phase of my life.”

Thank you for that beautiful review, Jamie. I’m so happy for you, that you found me. I’m so happy for me, that you found me. And I’m glad that you’re inspired and being transformed by this. I really want all of us to feel that way. That life just keeps getting better and more expansive and richer, and more inspiring and more transformative as we age. Age is our superpower. That’s what I want you to know 100% for sure.

This is the belief in my head that I have practiced now for so long. That this is who I am, and this is what I’m certain of. That our age is the most beautiful part of our life. It is the most motivating for me, every single day. So, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you, who took the time to come to my website, fill out the form, enter the contest, go to Apple iTunes, and give me a five-star rating and beautiful words of review.

I’ve got so many beautiful reviews, and I’m going to keep reading them. They’re still coming in, which is so fun for me. But I can even tell now that more and more and more women in the second half of life are finding my podcast, because my listening… I don’t know what you call them in statistics… are going up even faster than they’ve ever been.

So, the reviews really are important and really do count. I really do want to be very, very optimistic and encouraging for those of us in the second half of life, because I know it’s rare. I know that we can create so much more for ourselves than what we’ve believed and what we’ve been told. I will just always be here doing that. I choose optimism every single day of my life. I keep inspiring myself, and I will always go first for you guys.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It was such a successful 100th Episode Giveaway. My new website has been a dream and so fun. More and more and more of you have found it. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. Congratulations to Karen Payne, Claire Moore and Jamie Doolittle. You guys are awesome.

Okay, so today’s episode is called” Keep It Moving.” I just want you to know it’s so important for us to know that every day is a fresh start. This is how I think every day; it’s a whole new vibe for me. I’ve already planned out my day, yesterday. So, I get up every morning energized by what is on my planner for today.

When I say “planner,” it’s just my little notepad. It’s not fancy, you guys. But I obey my planner for the day. That is very motivating and inspiring for me, and so productive, because I completely do whatever I wrote down yesterday. Committing to what I was going to do today, right? So, this is something that I was teaching my groups this week.

I wanted to just remind you, because I know I’ve talked to you about this before on a few of my episodes, probably, but when I found this mindset work six years ago, I learned a little bit about my primitive brain; what it’s motivated by.

I just want to remind you what your primitive brain is motivated by. It’s motivated by seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and conserving energy. So, this is what I likened it to this week. It’s like we live in this little pond, right? We know how everything is. We know all the people in the pond, or all the little fishes in the pond. We have our little set routine.

The brain feels super safe in the pond, we’re not doing anything new and scary. We don’t have any big dreams or goals. We’re just in a little safe routine. We don’t have to try anything new. We don’t have to put ourselves out in the world and let anyone know who we are because we live in this little tiny pond.

And what we know about ponds is ponds get very stagnant, right? Because the pond that our primitive brain wants to live in, seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, conserving energy, we get in these ruts. Then, we wonder why we can’t get out of this rut. The rut is stagnant, there’s nothing challenging happening. There are no new ideas. There are no big goals, right? We’re not challenging ourselves.

But right next to our little, safe, stagnant pond, that we’re all swimming around in circles in, that our brain feels very safe in because it’s very comfortable, right next to our pond is this big, beautiful, fresh, rushing river. This river is our dream life.

We have to get out of our stagnant pond and jump over to that river to live our dream life. But our brain will talk us out of it because the river is full of unknowns. The river is scary to our brain. The river takes energy. But what I was telling my clients this week, is that our dream life, which is the river, means we just get up every day, we keep trying new things, we learn new things, we have our goals, we line up our disciplines so that by the end of the year we reach our goals, right?

Our primitive brain is trying to talk us out of that. Every day, it resists building muscle. Every day, it resists eating healthy because it likes the sugar. It likes laying on the couch and watching Netflix. It wants to do all the comfortable things that living in the pond allows for, right?

But when we get into this mode, this rushing river mode, which is the mode that I have been living in for quite a while now, and especially this year in 2023, it’s risky, right? It’s like, I don’t know what’s around the bend. I just know what I want. And so, I’m just doing the next right thing. I just keep taking chances on myself. That’s what the river feels like to me.

It’s the most thrilling, exciting, dreamy life that I could have ever imagined. So, that’s the difference between believing our primitive brain and staying in the rut, being safe, playing small, and not taking chances. And oh, believing when it says, “Oh, that’s too much money. Oh, you’ll never follow through. Oh, you’re too old. Oh, you’re going to be too tired. Oh, what’s everyone going to think?”

All those thoughts are coming from our primitive brain trying to keep us in the stagnant little rut of the pond where it’s safe. Where no one will notice us. Where no one will judge us. Where we can’t fail. In the river, taking the chances on us, we have to be willing to fail. We have to be willing to let people judge us.

We have to be willing to take chances on ourselves, right? We have to be willing to risk investing in ourselves, trust ourselves, and build confidence in ourselves, as we do the next right thing. But this river, you guys, is the river of our dreams. It keeps us moving. It will never be stagnant in the river, which is the most exciting life.

And if we’re women in the second half of life, this is what we want. This is why I have so much energy at 62, because I don’t ask anyone else’s opinion. I was telling my clients this week, I have enough to overcome by overcoming my own self-doubt, my own primitive brain that is like, “Oh, are you sure that’s what you want to do? Oh, are you sure you want to spend that much money, that much time, that much energy?” Right?

I just keep saying yes to my big dream. Yes, to my goals. My life, since January 1, 2023 has been a rushing river. I have created so much in my business since January 1st. I had big dreams and goals for my business, and I’ve created all of it. And it’s only two thirds of the way through the year.

I just kept saying yes, yes, yes, yes, at every bend, where my primitive brain just dug its heels in. It’s like, “Are you sure? Are you sure? Let’s wait till next year. You’ve done enough this year. Let’s wait till tomorrow.” This is what your primitive brain loves to do. “Let’s wait till tomorrow. Oh, we’ll do it later. Don’t do it now.”

I’m like, let’s keep it moving. I’m in a flow. Everything is happening for me. Even if I fail, failure is good for me. I know how to try a different way. I’m not afraid to fail. Right? So, it’s just this attitude that I have, that I want to do it all now.

Let’s go, why would I wait? Now, I know that I’m worthy of the investment. I trust myself. I want to keep it all moving. I want to live my life in this river of energy that is so motivating for me and inspiring for me and energizing for me every single day. I want you to know you absolutely can do that, too. It isn’t just me. I can tell you, if I can do it, you can do it 100%. This way I tell my clients every week. If I can do this, you 100% can do this. Okay? I want you to even surpass me.

There’s a difference between a stagnant pond that feels like safe and comfortable, and that’s what your primitive brain loves. Or there’s a life-giving, dream making river that we just jump into. We just keep saying yes, yes, yes, yes. Let’s just do it with sweaty armpits. Let’s do it scared. I’m worth it. My future self is worth it. This is my dream life.

I don’t think I’ve told this on the podcast, but even if I have it’s worth repeating. So, one of my clients, her name is Darla; I love her so much. She told this story about Taylor Swift, because you know I love Taylor Swift. So, get on board. Get on the T-Swift bandwagon with me, because I’m going to keep talking about her. That we have so many lessons to learn from this 34-year-old woman, who is amazing.

But Darla took her teenage son to, I think it was, the last L.A. concert that Taylor did. Her last show in L.A. Taylor’s on the stage and said… I’m just telling this through my interpretation, through my memory; Darla told the group this story.

Taylor Swift said to 70,000 people in the arena, “Hey, word on the street is that I’m going to be tired tonight, because I’ve done so many shows. This is my last show.” She goes, “I just want you to know that I’m living my dream. This is my dream. And so, if it’s okay with you, I’m not going to be tired tonight.”

I love that story. I can’t stop thinking about that story, you guys, because this is what it feels like when you’re living your dream. You keep it moving, you keep in the flow of it, and it’s energizing. It isn’t tiring; it never feels like that. It feels like, this is what I’m here to do. I’m all in. I’m going to just bring it out and leave it all out there on the stage, on the table.

Whatever we’re doing, this isn’t what we’re supposed to be doing and how we’re supposed to be feeling. Even in the second half of life, especially in the second half of life, you guys, you’ve got to get out of this stagnant rut, the stagnant pond, jump out of those safe, little, tiny waters that you’re living in. Because you know there’s something more.

Stop living with this low-level energy, and even low-level fears and resentment, and maybe even blaming somebody or something outside of you. Because you’re telling a story that’s keeping you small or limiting you. Or because of something they did that you can’t live your dream. You’ve got to give all of that up and just believe in yourself.

Do it for your future self. Believe me when I tell you, take the leap into the river, keep it moving, keep your life fresh, try new things every day, do it scared, know that you’re worth it, and you can figure anything out. And for sure, the universe conspires in your favor. So, it all works out. Everything keeps working out.

The more you try, the more you believe in yourself, the more you overcome your primitive brain and you think new thoughts on purpose, and stop dragging up old stories that aren’t useful for you; the ones that are keeping you small and in self-doubt and keeping you stuck. The more you override that and overcome that, the better and more profound your life will become.

You will find yourself in this river of dreams, I’m telling you for sure. What it feels like is just this freshness and this oxygen and this life-giving energy that you wake up with every day. That you can’t wait to get started on whatever you decided you were going to accomplish today. Because what you wrote down yesterday, to accomplish today, your primitive brain is always going “let’s do it later.”

So, this hack that I have chosen for me, and for you guys, this little brain hack, like a little brain trick… When the brain says, “Well, we’ll do that tomorrow,” we write it down. We’re like, “Okay, brain, let’s do it tomorrow.”

And then when we wake up today, which is “tomorrow,” yesterday, we do every single thing right now, that we decided yesterday; that the brain said, “Let’s do it tomorrow.” Okay, today’s tomorrow, we’re getting it done. We run towards it and we pop it all out and we get it all done.

And that’s what it feels like to be in the river. This is how you keep your life moving and fresh and energized in the second half of life. Do not stay stuck. And certainly, do not ask anyone else’s opinion, because all they’re going to do is dump all their fearful brain onto you and want to keep you in the stagnant pond with them. Okay?

So, you can ask me, my opinion. You can come hire me to be your life coach, because I’m going to push you into the river. I’m going to go, “Girl, get in this river with us. Let’s go. Stop all that nonsense of that little safe pond. That’s just a sleepy, dumb life.” We’ve got to keep it moving in the second half of life. It’s so much more exciting.

I’m going to tell you this quick little story. I’ve been promising you this story. I don’t even know why I promised it to you. I probably, if I hadn’t said anything about it, I probably would never even tell you about it. Because I don’t like to just tell old stories for no reason. But I’m going to tell you in a nutshell, what happened. I think it’s now, maybe been two or three weeks. Oh, gosh. Yeah, it’s been well, when you listen to this, it’s been almost a month ago, I think. But right now, it’s been three weeks ago.

We got back from our vacation, our Lake Tahoe vacation with our family, on Monday night. On Tuesday, Jeff and I both had real busy days catching up from vacation, real busy workdays. At about six o’clock I’d already put on my cozies and got everything wrapped up. I was standing in my kitchen, and I heard these loud, screeching tires, bright noises. Oh, my gosh, it sounded like someone was going to crash into something.

Then, I heard a huge boom right outside my house. It almost sounded like they hit our house; we live on a corner. So, I thought two cars hit each other. I go running to my front doors, which are glass, and when I got to my front doors, just a few feet away, you guys, there was a car in our driveway. It was going super fast, it crashed into our wall, spinning around, the bumpers were flying off.

It’s surreal even tell you about it because it happened in a flash. But I was so confused and shocked. I didn’t even know what was happening. I didn’t know if a car maybe ran into a big truck, and the impact with the truck threw it into our driveway. I didn’t know what in the world was happening. But then I opened my front door.

The driver was screaming but still had her foot on the gas, like she was trying to get out of our driveway. Instead of letting the car just settle… the car was smoking, the tires are screeching, it was just like a crazy scene. There were other people in the car. There were kids in the backseat. So, it was kind of traumatizing.

I closed the door because it felt unsafe to me. I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t know if she was going to drive through our front doors. I didn’t know what was going to happen. So, Jeff comes running up from downstairs and I told him to call 911. He was confused. He didn’t know what had happened.

Then I saw a bunch of neighbors coming over and I opened up the front doors again. This driver just peels out of our driveway, crosses the street again as fast as she could go, and crashes into the little hillside, someone else’s yard across the street, then backs up. Literally, guys, half of her car is still in our driveway; her bumpers, her taillights, her headlights. She had totally wrecked her car in our yard.

Then she just gunned it. Her car’s making all kinds of smoke and noises, and just toodles down the street. The people down the street said her car caught on fire, and then all of a sudden, the police come, the fire department comes, and we had this whole scene in our front yard. It was a one car crash, you guys.

It was just this little Nissan Maxima car. She was drunk and high. She had kids in her back seat. She crashed into our yard, and took out one of our big, beautiful olive trees. Destroyed so much of our yard. Destroyed our driveway because she dumped all of her car fluids onto our driveway. So, we’re going to have to have our driveway redone, and we have a really big drive. Of course, she doesn’t have insurance.

So, long story short, all of that happened. I was having such a hard time retelling that story because I don’t like telling stories like that. This is probably the last time I’m going to talk about it. I’m not going to tell this story again. We are getting our yard fixed slowly but surely. I don’t even think about it anymore.

We had a little crew come that week and they were able to clean up the tree. There was just such a mess in our driveway and in our yard. And so, they were able to clean that up. We have to have a new tree brought in, new landscaping, our driveway done. She took out our fence. She took out part of our rock wall. It was just so much.

But the reason I’m telling you that, is because the way that our brain is, we could stay telling that story and talking about how we were the victims of this incident, and being so upset about it, and so mad about it; but we are not. We’re sad for the kids that were in the backseat, of course. I was pretty traumatized for the next couple of days, but then I just let it go.

I decided, I don’t know, I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore. It’s something that happened but I have bigger fish to fry. I have so much goodness going on in my life, that’s what I want to talk about. Right? So, we’re pressing charges. We’re hoping to get some help with all the costs and everything, from however that all works. I don’t know.

But I’m not even thinking about it anymore. The only reason I’m telling you this is because I told you a couple episodes ago that I was going to tell you. I think it’s a good example of so many things. You’re just here minding your own business and all of a sudden life happens to you, right? And how you respond to it is 100% of everything.

You can keep dragging up the same old stories, and telling the world how you’ve been victimized and how horrible this has been and you can’t stop thinking about it. But I don’t do that anymore. “Alright, that happened. But I have too many amazing things going on in my life. I’m not going to give that any energy at all.” So, I promise you, this is last I’m talking about it.

But I just wanted to use that as an example of what is possible for you. You’re just minding your own business; something happens and then just notice how your brain wants to focus on that thing that went wrong. Right? I want you to know that when you learn how to manage your mind, you never have to do that again.

You’re like, “Okay, that’s all right, we’re going to take care of that. But this is what I’m focusing on. This is where I get all my good energy, everything I have control of, that’s what I’m focusing on.” Because I believe that everything happens for me, 100%, even that.

Because you know what happened that was so amazing? In that incident, we got to meet all of our amazing neighbors, which we’ve never done before. We’ve lived here for almost three years. We met all these beautiful people who live on our street. Everybody came up to support us, to see if we needed help, and to see who we are. We just met all these beautiful people who we’re surrounded by. I loved that so much.

Then we met our amazing local fire department. We met all the Pismo Beach Police Department, and they were amazingly supportive and helpful. It ended up being kind of an awesome thing. That’s the way I choose to look at it. There’s always good that comes from everything, right? So, thank God, no one was hurt. Thank God, we weren’t hurt, and everything’s replaceable.

I just want you to know, you can think like that, too. I want you to drop all of your old stories, so that every time you tell it, it just drums up all this negative feeling for you and even resentment and bitterness. Stop telling the story. Every time you tell the story, you’re just putting more fuel on that flame. You want that flame to go away.

You don’t want to feel that flame anymore, right? You want to fuel your dream life. You want to get out of those old stories, that stagnant pond, and you want fresh water, fresh stories. You want to be thinking about your future. You want to keep it moving forward. Stop looking back, keep moving forward. That’s the whole point of this.

I love you so much for showing up today. Happy, happy, happy September. Come with me, join my next group. If you’ve worked with me before it starts September 13th. You have another week to jump into that group. My last group of the year starts October 4th.

For all you newbies who have never worked with me before, it’s already filling up with beautiful people, beautiful women, who want to finish this year so strong with all kinds of new plans and ideas and habits and new thoughts and ways of seeing things. That’s what we do.

Then, you’re going to come to my retreat on November 2-3-4, in Avila Beach, California. You’re going to uplevel your life more than you can even imagine right now. Okay? All righty, I love you all so much. Have the best week, and I will see you next Thursday.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to KymShowersLifeCoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.