Ep 84. A Solution to Every Problem

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 84: A Solution to Every Problem.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own well-being and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s going to be fun. Let’s go.

Hey my friends, welcome back to my podcast, Reinvented After 40. Are you after 40? Are you 40 yet? I bet you are. 40s, 50s, 60s, the three best decades of life so far. I’m not in my 70s yet, but 60s are phenomenal. And if you’re in your 40s, my friend, I want you to know for sure that it just keeps getting better, better and better and better, I promise you, especially if you’re listening to this podcast.

If you’re interested in anything I have to say, if you’re drawn to my particular journey in life as a woman who has decided to create a life she’s absolutely obsessed with. Doesn’t that sound fun to you? It is so fun. Okay, so I want to tell you this morning that for sure there’s a solution to every problem. And you know that my favorite go to thought is this isn’t a problem. So the reason I think that on purpose, because I am so onto my brain now because I’ve been doing this work, this mindset work in particular for the last five years.

And so once I found out that my circumstances do not create my feelings, that my brain creates my feelings, which was total news to me at the age of what, 55, 56, 57. No one had ever told me that before. I thought it was all the people in my life that created my feelings. I thought it was all my circumstances that created my feelings and it’s not ever our circumstances. Our circumstances are neutral. They’re just the facts of our life. The reason we have particular feelings is because of the way that we think about the people in our life, the words being said to us, the circumstances of our life.

We have thoughts about everything in our life. And our brain likes for some reason, the way our brain is wired, our primitive brain is wired to be a great problem solver, to look for problems to solve. So it really does want to drum up problems on the regular. So I like to answer my brain when it’s trying to tell me something’s a problem, trying to take something personally that is of course not personal, which has always been my biggest issue is taking things personally. Used to be the way that I solved for that and I keep solving for that is I just answer my brain with this isn’t a problem.

And you know why I do that now is because even if it is a so-called problem, I know that there’s a solution to it. There is a solution for it. All I have to do is put my brain to work, ask it questions, how can we solve this? What’s the real problem here? How can we solve for this problem?

So I have an example for you. So I perspire so much especially under my arms which is totally fine and literally it hasn’t really been a problem for the last few years because I haven’t been doing a lot of things that would make it a big problem because there’s always been a solution for it. I just usually, if I’m going to a party or well, let me just tell you this.

So I used to speak in public a lot when I was in my church days. So I spent the first 50 years in church and doing a lot of teaching and a lot of group Bible study teaching. And you guys, I would perspire under my arms so profusely because I was nervous, of course, even though I did it every single week I would still get nervous. So my answer to that was just I had to wear black up top. So I had so much black, so many black tops. And I can wear my color and my white on my pants or my skirts or whatever.

But I would always have to wear black because I would just have big rings. I know this is a lot of information, but this is such a good example. So I want to convince you that there is a solution to every problem. So you might have the same issue that I have. And it seems like it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older.

So yesterday I drove to Bakersfield because I had a dentist appointment, a cleaning which was awesome. And then I had scheduled an appointment right after that to get Botox under my arms, in my armpits to solve for my perspiration problem and it will. Because I remember that I did that a long time ago. In my Bible study days when I was teaching, someone had told me, “Oh my gosh, you can get Botox underneath your arms and it will solve for that problem.” And I did it and it did solve for that problem, but I just hadn’t even thought about it since then.

It wasn’t something I was thinking about or pursuing because it really hadn’t really been a problem. But you know how I’m preparing for my first in person live event retreat for my clients. I’m going to meet with them for three days, two and a half days. I’m going to be teaching and coaching in person with them. And even though I’m so excited about it, but of course I’m going to be a little bit nervous and I expect to be and I want to be.

And when I get nervous I’m going to be perspiring under my arms but I do not want to wear black tops because you know my whole vibe right now is just bright neon colors and that’s what I want to wear. So I started thinking about that last week and I was like, “Oh, dang, I’m probably going to have bigger pit rings the whole time I’m with these precious people of mine and I don’t want to.” I don’t even want to be thinking about that. I do not want to be distracted by that. I want to show up in my full Kym Showers life coach energy and give 100,000% to these women.

I don’t want to be thinking about myself at all. So all of a sudden my brain goes, “Hey, you’re going to Bakersfield and April Cooper.” Okay, April Cooper is my girl and I’m going to tell you a little bit about her, but she’s in Bakersfield. She’s a nurse practitioner. She’s been my girl for years and she does my Botox and she does my lip filler. She’s been doing some collagen treatments on my face that have been phenomenal and she’s also a bioidentical hormone expert. So she’s been my hormone expert as well for the past few years.

So I texted April and I said, “April, listen, I have a problem and you have a solution to my problem. I’m going to Bakersfield for cleaning for a dental appointment on Thursday.” I told her at 10:20 or whatever. “And I’m wondering if you could possibly squeeze me in to give me Botox underneath my arms after my dental appointment?” And she’s so phenomenal and so amazing, she texts me right back, she goes, “Absolutely.” And so I went over after my dental appointment yesterday.

And she gave me Botox underneath my arms so that I do not perspire in three weeks for my live event. That my friends is how you do it. That’s how you take care of problems that your brain is trying to keep you in so that you don’t go do what you really want to do. You don’t go create your really big things. It might be a so-called problem like that. It might be something like that, that you say, “No, I can’t possibly do that because I perspire too much and I get embarrassed and I feel ashamed and I don’t think I should be.” And I’m telling you guys, there’s a solution to every problem.

So whatever it is that you want to create, whatever goal you’re setting for yourself, do not let your brain roadblock you by telling you, “Well, this is too embarrassing.” I know a lot of you don’t go to Orangetheory because you are comparing yourself to other people in the room. And you don’t like that feeling of embarrassment. You feel ashamed, you feel embarrassed because you think you should be further ahead or you think your body should be stronger or you think you should be faster on the treadmill or better with the weights. No, I am just saying no.

You just go and you start and you’re only comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. And you’re not comparing yourself to anybody else in the room. It’s just like, I want to be my best self. Now, how can I challenge myself? How can I fix this issue that my brain is trying to make a problem for me? Because I know for sure that there is a solution to every problem. So I could give you so many examples, but I want to go back to April Cooper. So she’s a nurse practitioner at Bakersfield. She works at a place called Skinsation. I’ve been going to her for a long time.

I have no shame in all the things that I do for myself. I’ll answer any of your questions. April started giving me Botox injections in my forehead and a little bit around my eyes. We tried it in other places but I didn’t really like the way I looked. So it’s basically just a few in my forehead every six to eight months or so. And it’s just, my frown lines get less and less and less and I love that. And then she also poofs up my lips because I love a good poofy lip. So she knows me so well now. I don’t want to be extreme, but I really do want to age gracefully.

And I really love, I do have a lot of sun damage because I mean, I don’t know that I’d do anything different, but I didn’t wear a lot of skin, or what is it called, sunscreen. I mostly had baby oil on which I know, but I was a 70s and 80s girl and that’s what we did. And I was a lifeguard for many, many years because that’s what the cool girls did and I loved it. So anyways, I do have some sun damage which is absolutely not a problem for me. I wear sunscreen now. I do not lay out in the sun.

I self-tan which is another thing that I love. And I’m not one bit ashamed of because I feel so much better when I’m tanned because I have Irish skin, I have freckles. So I just want you to know, there is no shame for me at all in any of the treatments that I get. I love them all. I choose them. I trust April with everything because she knows me so well and she has never failed me. I always leave, I always look forward to my appointments with her and I always leave just so proud of myself and so happy to pay her. I just have that decision and that attitude.

And it’s just these ongoing appointments and I just love them. I just highly recommend anything that you feel like when you look in the mirror you feel like, you know what, I’d like to try poofy lips, let’s just give it a try. I’m just all in on it. Go give it a try and see how you think and feel about it. Or I had, April did this three month treatment on me called Morpheus8 to stimulate my collagen, because we lose so much collagen, you guys, in the second half of life. And she just said she thought I would really get good results and she knows me so well so I trust her.

So I’m like, “Yeah, I’m all in.” So it was every four weeks I went in for a round. And let me tell you about Morpheus8. Holy cow, you guys, it is painful. It’s probably the most painful treatment I’ve ever had, but I have gotten such good results. It’s lessened all my lines on my face and kind of poofed everything up a little bit, giving my cheek bones a little more definition. And I just have loved the result. So, solution to every problem.

Also I have long hair and my hair is beautiful and I love my hair. And I’ve always had red hair, but I did go blonde on purpose in my 30s. And I love blonde hair obviously, but I still do have a lot of red hair underneath. But all of us, McCarthy’s, most of all of us, we turn white gray, and it’s a beautiful white gray. You should see my Aunt Margie, she has just a full head of beautiful white gray hair, stunning. And my dad, white gray beautiful hair and most of my cousins, white gray beautiful hair. And my hair comes in white gray which is so fabulous.

So my sister is my hairdresser, I only have to get my hair brightened up. She weaves blonde into my hair to brighten it up, you guys, every three months. And I know those of you in the second half of life, you probably have to go in and get your hair colored every three weeks or even more than that so I know how lucky I am that this is the case for me. But I really love my long hair and I just decided, I’m keeping my hair long probably till the day I die possibly. Who knows if I want to because I’m breaking all the rules, who cares. I don’t care.

I love having long hair. So if any of you have thoughts about growing your hair long, I am 100% go do it because it is a blast and it is so much easier to have long hair, I think than having short hair. I wash it, you guys, every four days. I let it air dry for the most part. It is so easy. I braid it at night when I go to bed. And then I wake up and it always looks good. But what I want to tell you, is of course, our hair thins out, not everybody’s hair thins out but my hair has thinned out a lot as I’ve gotten older.

So, Geordie who works, her name is Jordan Zimmerman and she is fabulous and we call her Geordie, but she does hair extensions. And so she does hair extensions for me. And so she just adds in beautiful hair to my already long hair. I decided last time that I bought new hair, because every few months I have to buy brand new hair. And I said, “You know what, Geordie, buy me the longest hair that they sell because I’m going extra-long. Let’s just go all out. And fabulous. So she goes, “Okay, let’s do it.”

So she ordered me the extra, extra-long hair, because I told you guys, I just decided, I’m going to be fabulous for the rest of my life, just as fabulous as I can be. And I’m just playing by my own rules. So she goes, “Okay, let’s do it.” So she ordered me the extra-long hair. She put in the extra-long hair. And you guys, it is amazing and so much fun. So that solves for my thin hair problem. So I don’t have to have long thin hair. I can have extra-long thick hair if I want to, and I want to. So there is a solution to every problem.

And also I have a girl in town who I love, who delivers me this fabulous tanning mouse for my body and tanning spray for my face. And I do that a couple of times a week for myself. And then I can’t reach my back but my husband can. And this is probably one of the funnest things that he likes to do for me is to tan my back. So he’s my solution to my back getting tan. He puts on the little glove, I strip down for him which he loves and he just tans up my back and he loves it. And so then I have a nice, tanned body and I feel so much better in my clothes. There is a solution to every problem.

So what I want to tell you, and I could go on and on about my appointments and how I solve for problems. So remember I’m always reminding you that in the second half of life, inflammation is our biggest health concern, is our biggest problem. And inflammation causes so many problems in us that I don’t even know that we know that it’s because of the foods we eat and the things that we drink.

So I’m going to tell you another too much information thing, but I used to have hemorrhoids really bad. I know you guys, I am trusting that you’re all my friends who are listening to this, but I do not have them anymore and it’s because of my anti-inflammatory diet. Do you see that? So because of my anti-inflammatory diet that has solved for some medical issues of mine that I was having. And I do not have them anymore. I do not have those anymore. And there’s so many other ones, but I just want to encourage you that there’s a solution to every problem.

If you drink a lot of water every day, at least a half-gallon to a gallon every day, that will solve for your dehydration problem. Dehydration causes so many issues like headaches. I never get headaches because I believe, I choose to believe, I drink so much water. I am never dehydrated. And because I don’t drink very much alcohol, I’m never dehydrated. So I just want you to know that if you have a problem it doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t get to get what you want in life because you have these issues.

I want to tell you, you can get what you want in life because there’s a solution to the issue. Your brain will tell you, we can’t possibly do that, we’re too nervous to do that. We’re not good at this. And I’m telling you, absolutely you can do it. You just have to be very determined and very consistent. And you have to put your beautiful smart brain to work coming up with the solution. This is what I do every single day, I just come up with solutions and consistency in my practices, my daily habits, those solve for almost any problems that I might be dealing with if I wasn’t doing those things. Do you see?

I have so many less problems because of my great habits that have actually become my solutions to the problems that I might have had. So building good habits, being consistent with them, putting your bright beautiful brain to work on the daily to solve for yourself. You don’t even have to ask other people’s opinions until you’re at your wit’s end maybe. I do not ask for other people’s opinions.

I do sometimes Google. I will ask Google, if I’ve already put my brilliant brain to work trying to solve for something, if I have a question for something I don’t know, I’ll Google and usually find this seems like the best solution for me. I usually hardly ever ask for opinions anymore because I trust my own opinion the most.

Alright, so that’s what I have for you today, my friend. I want you to know if you have a problem, there is a solution to it. And I want you to solve for it because you are the one that knows the best. You are the one that has the best opinion for your life. You’re the one who knows what you want. Do not ask anyone else, ask yourself. There is a solution to every problem. Put your bright beautiful brain to work, answering all of the questions. This is a super powerful habit to get into. I am in this habit and it has changed my life.

And also I have one more amazing tip for you that you’re going to thank me for. You’re welcome. Go to Netflix right now, if you’re in your 40s, especially if you’re in your 50s, 60s, 70s, you’ve got to go to Netflix and you’ve got to type in, Leanne Morgan Comedy. Oh my goodness. So two nights ago I found her. It just came up on my Netflix screen when I went to watch whatever. And it came up. And I was like, “I’m going to try her out.” I’d never heard of her, but Netflix suggested it for me, you know how Netflix does, this is something we think you might like.

Holy cow, you guys, I laughed for over an hour till my belly hurt. I cried, I laughed and then I made Jeff come watch some of it with me. And then I watched it again last night before I went to bed and I went to bed just so happy, so at peace. So go watch Leanne Morgan. Oh gosh, I hope I’m telling you her right name. I think it’s Leanne Morgan, it’s something like that. Hold on a second, let me look. Yes, I just Googled it. It’s Leanne Morgan Comedy. So funny. And we’ll talk about it. You’re going to love her and she is just going to be your new best friend.

Okay, my friends, I love you so much. Have the happiest, best problem solving week that you’ve ever had, alright. And I will see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.