Ep 51. Change Your Life One Step at a Time

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 51: Change Your Life One Step at a Time.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own wellbeing and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s gonna be fun. Let’s go.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It’s early Saturday morning here. And I just wanted to hop on this microphone and talk to you this morning. I am getting ready to go on a trip. I fly out early Monday morning to Orlando, Florida. I think I talked to you about it last week and maybe even the week before because I am ‘batching’ these podcast episodes because of this trip. I needed to get a few ahead so that I don’t miss my deadlines. And so that’s challenging for me.

So, I normally do an episode a week on Thursdays but my goal for the next year is to learn how to work ahead and not make it a big deal for myself because I know I can do it if I constrain my thoughts and if I don’t let my brain create any extra drama. Because your brain and my brain, our brains love to create drama for us when there’s actually zero drama necessary. So, I love that but I’m calling this episode Change Your Life One Step at a Time because really that’s all it is.

And when we can look at what we really want to change, when we decide what we really want to change, all it takes is a little intention one step at a time. And all of those steps get us to where we want to go, help us reach our goal. So, what I want to talk to you about this morning is how far I’ve come really in every area of my life because of this concept that I believe in. That we are compounding our actions every single day and that takes us to this big, beautiful goal that we’ve set for ourselves, that we just accomplish because of this idea that all I have to do is take the next step.

And when in actuality too, it’s not taking the next step, it’s actually changing the next thought, what’s the next thought that I need to think to get me where I want to go? This episode actually comes out on Thursday September 1st, it’s almost been a year now that I joined the Avila Bay Club because I wanted a stronger body. I needed, I really just wanted to start building a stronger body. I knew I had to take action to make that happen and so I did. And I just committed to going five days a week in the morning for 30 minutes to get my fitness goals met.

I didn’t put any pressure on myself, I just committed, and I showed up. And I just started doing the work, one step at a time, one day at a time. So that turned into by the time the new year came, what that turned into was committing to swimming two days a week, getting in that big blue pool two mornings a week and swimming two days a week. Which quickly turned into three days a week, which quickly turned into swimming a mile every time I got in the pool. It was difficult.

It was challenging at first. It was cold in the mornings because I went first thing in the mornings. And I still go first thing in the mornings. And it was cold, and I felt a little bit vulnerable and a little bit uncertain, a little bit, maybe even embarrassed because everyone that was swimming, to me they knew what they were doing. And I really didn’t know what I was doing. But I kept at it. And so, here we are September 1st, I started January 1st, you guys.

So, I swam my third mile yesterday morning which was Friday morning. I just was thinking how strong, and how fast, and how sure, and how confident I was when I was swimming, so much faster than when I started. The water just felt so comfortable to me, this whole challenge of swimming a mile when I get in the water, it’s like a friend to me now where it was really uncomfortable for me in September, it’s so natural to me now. It’s so comfortable. It’s such a fun energetic kind of relationship for me that I have with this mile swim that I do three days a week.

So, it’s just natural. My brain doesn’t really even try and talk me out of it anymore because I’m so committed to doing it. And the way that my body looks and feels now is so different than when I started and it’s because it’s all the changes just happen slowly and surely over time. And all it’s been is me and my commitment, and me showing up, and that has transformed my whole body, my whole mindset, my whole relationship with swimming. I am so grateful to my past self who started to swim nine, ten months ago and my commitment to working out at the Avila Bay Club almost a year ago.

I am so grateful to her for taking initiative, and for saying yes, and for her commitment because it’s given me now this, I want to say, I went from this ordinary 60 year old body to actually now I feel kind of extraordinary. And it doesn’t happen overnight, you guys. It happens one step at a time, one thought at a time, one commitment at a time, one day, one week at a time. And it all adds up and then all of a sudden you’re at your goal, you’re at the finish line, you’ve actually done the thing that your brain really tried to talk you out of nine months ago, a year ago, but here we are.

So, the time passes anyway, so why not say, “I’m all in on this, let’s go. If you can do it, I can do it.” I’m not talking like you have to become a swimmer. I’m just saying it can be anything that you wanted to do but you keep giving up on yourself because you don’t think you can do it and you don’t believe in the compound effect. You don’t think that one day at a time really matters. And I promise you, it’s just your brain trying to talk you out of it.



So yesterday when I was swimming I realized what I had, this whole power, my super power now has become constraining my thoughts. So, because of coaching, because it’s a mindset work, I don’t let my brain run away with thoughts anymore. I don’t let it just go where it wants to go. I constrain my thoughts. I have this ability now because of the last four years of practicing managing my mind, it was so evident to me yesterday morning. I really paid attention to the power that I have over my mind.

So, when I started swimming the first lap, so it takes me 33 laps to swim a mile which is actually 66 lengths of the pool. So that first lap when I start, my brain just starts kind of flipping out, we have so many laps ahead of us. So, my brain does not like that first lap. But I constrain my thought to here we go, it’s one stroke at a time, it’s one breath at a time, it’s one length of the pool at a time. And I constrain my thought to just counting, that’s all I do, I count. And I count one and I drop into my body, and I feel my arms pulling the water.

I don’t think anymore, I just start counting and I start stroking the water and I kick, and I breathe. And I go, one, one, one, one all the way to two, two, two, two. And I’m telling you this and this might sound a little crazy to you. But before I knew how to do this my brain was resisting the swim all the way through. Every single lap it tried to talk me into quitting and that is exhausting. And I want you to realize your brain is doing the exact same thing with whatever it is you want to finish.

And I was having this great conversation with one of my dearest friends this week. I went to Bakersfield early Thursday morning for a dentist appointment because I love my dentist. I don’t think I’ll ever give up my dentist because I have kind of my teeth need this particular dentist that I have. I have a little trauma about dentistry and this dentist office is the best in the entire universe. So, I drive to Bakersfield for my dental appointments. And I went and visited with a friend afterwards and we were having this great conversation.

And she was telling me a cute story about how she wanted – well, first of all she said, “Do you think I need to change?” And I said, “Absolutely not, not if you don’t want to change. I think you’re perfect the way you are.” So that’s what I think about all my friends and all of you. This is what I know about all of us. We’re perfect exactly the way we are. The only reason I change is because I know it’s possible or me and I love to change. Now, do I think anyone else needs to change? Absolutely not.

I think if you want to change, everything is possible for you. But do I think you need to change to make yourself any worthier, or any better, or any of that? Absolutely not. I think you’re amazing exactly the way you are. I think my friend is perfect, that’s why she is my friend. I love every single thing about her. But can she change if she wants? If she wants to feel a little less turmoil or a little less anxiety, can she feel a little less turmoil and a little less anxiety? 100% she can if she wants to. But do I think she needs to? No, I think she is the best human on the planet.

So, this is what I believe about change and why we do what we do and why we don’t do what we do is because our brain wants us to think that maybe there is something wrong with us. But is there anything wrong with us? No, it’s just our thinking, it’s our self-doubt that causes us to think something’s wrong with us. But we were born perfect, and whole, and lovable, and we do not need to change unless we want to. And I just love that idea. I love myself completely the way I am.

And I know that there is so much more possible for me. So that’s why I decide to change and that’s what makes change so fun is that there’s no pressure on me to change but the possibilities are endless. And that’s the same for you. We get to change our thinking, our feeling, the way that we behave any time we want to and that’s the beauty of coaching. Coaching helps us to make the changes one step, one day, one coaching session at a time.

I love thinking like this and it’s been so helpful and so useful for me and so lifechanging, my life keeps expanding because of it. So that’s what I want to offer you today is that you can change starting right now, anything, any area of your life. You can get exactly what you want, it might be the same thing that you’ve been thinking about for 10 years, for five years, or for 20 years, or maybe your whole life, this one thing that your brain has completely talked you out of it, but you know you want to.

I want you to come get coached by me, my next group, I have two spots left and I want it to be you. I want you to be in my coaching group. It starts on Wednesday September 14th at 12 noon. It’s your lunch hour. It’s perfect. We will go from 45 minutes to one hour every single Wednesday at noon. You will fall in love with the process. You will fall in love with this coaching container. You will fall in love with the small group that you are in.

You will realize that you are not alone and that you can create any kind of change you want starting today, starting one thought at a time, one step at a time. It will all add up to the big amazing or even the small, amazing goal that you want, learn how to constrain your thoughts like I have. Learn how to finish a task instead of letting your brain talk you out of it. Learn how to finish what you started.

So, I would love you to join this group. Right now, I have two spots but by the time you listen to this they might be filled. But go to my website, go to the group coaching button that you can click onto. And if it lets you pay then that means you’ve probably got the last spot and I will be so happy it’s you. And we will get started right away. You will hear from me right away. You will get my workbook in the mail right away. And we will get started on Wednesday September 14th 12 noon to change your life one step at a time to reach the goal that you know is possible for you.

Okay, my friends, that’s what I have for you today. I love you so much, have the best week, and I will see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.