Ep 50. 50 Ways to Uplevel Your Life

I am Kym Showers, and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 50: 50 Ways to Uplevel Your Life.

Hey, friends. Welcome to Reinvented After 40, a podcast for all you women in the second half of life who are ready to take responsibility for your own wellbeing and create a life you love living.

I’m your host, Kym Showers, and after spending the first 40 years of my life people-pleasing and following all the rules, I was exhausted and ready for a change. I reinvented myself. I stopped outsourcing my happiness. And I’ve been brave enough to live a different kind of life.

I’ll be here each week to help you do the same thing. It’s gonna be fun. Let’s go.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. So, you’re going to be listening to this, or if you’re listening to it the Thursday it comes out, you know where I’m going to be? I am going to be in Florida for a whole week attending the kickoff of my new mastermind that I joined. It’s called the $200,000 Mastermind. And you know why I joined this mastermind for this year? Because my goal for next year in 2023 is to create $200,000 in my business. So, I joined this mastermind in the spring of 2022 to set myself up to create my goal for next year. See how that worked?

So, I’m always thinking ahead. I’m talking to my future self. I’m completely setting her up. So, I’m so excited about this mastermind, it’ll be a completely different experience than the one that just finished that I was in for a year. This next one is actually for six months, very high end, very high energy, lots of work that I’m going to be doing, very huge challenge for me. So, I am excited and nervous at the same time.

So, with that, I also want to tell you that this is my 50th episode of this podcast. And to celebrate the 50th episode I decided to jot down 50 ways to uplevel your life and the ways that I uplevel my life every single day, I just thought, you know what? I want you guys, my podcast listeners, my friends, my virtual friends to be as excited about your life as I am about mine. You guys, I wake up every day so excited about my life. And I know you want that too. I mean who doesn’t want to be excited about their life and energetic about their life?

And I am so I know it’s possible for you too. So, I just thought, you know what, I took my notepad, and I sat down this morning, and I just wrote down. I just started writing 50 ways to uplevel your life, things that just come off the top of my head that I have learned, that I do every single day. And upleveling your life means you’re thinking differently than you are now. You’re feeling differently than you are now. You’re showing up differently than you are now. And it’s just a higher level of living. It’s a higher level of thinking.

So, the first thing I decided to tell you is I want you to ask yourself better questions. That’s number one. I want you to ask yourself higher level questions instead of questions like, why do I keep screwing up, or why do I keep doing that? Why am I so dumb? So those are questions that our brain defaults to. But listen to these questions that I want you to start practicing. I want you to write these questions down. These are very empowering questions to ask yourself.

How might this be perfect for me? I ask myself that all the time and then my brain gets to work answering that question. Whatever is going on in my life right now is always perfect for me. So, when I can answer that question then I can just move forward. This is perfect for me. How is this perfect for me? Whatever the circumstance is instead of what your brain would say, this is terrible, I can’t believe this is happening, thoughts like that. How might this be perfect for me? And then get to work answering that question.

Another question. What if this was all happening exactly as it should? That’s a high power question, high energy question. What if I did know what to do? So, our brain defaults on, I have no idea what to do. And then I answer that thought with, what if I did know what to do. Another one. What would this look like if it was easy? What would this look like if it was easy? That would give me a completely different feeling than this is so hard, I don’t know what to do. What would this look like if it was easy?

Another one. What would love do in this situation? I love that question. I’m always wanting to get to love. How do I want to show up in this situation? What advice would my future self give me? Who do I want to be? Those are high power questions. So that’s my idea for you, my tip for you, my practice for you first and foremost to uplevel your life is to practice asking yourself higher level questions. And then get to work answering them to get unstuck and move yourself forward. Alright, here we go. So that was number one.

Number two. To always take responsibility for your life. Do not give your power away. Learn something new every day. Tell the truth, tell yourself the truth. Know that you are creating your feelings, they never come from anybody else. Be excited about your future, practice thinking thoughts that get you excited about your future, build a relationship with your future self. Be present and awake today, that’s it, just right now, be present and awake. You guys, I spend so much time in the present and in the future, that’s what I’m mostly thinking about.

I don’t spend that much time in the past. I thank my past self for hooking me up, for doing the things that she did back then or even yesterday that hooked me up for today. But then I’m all about today and moving forward. So be present and awake today and build a relationship with your future self. Go to bed early and get up early. That will change your life. Go to bed early and get up early without any drama about that. Get a good eight hours of sleep every single night. That will change your life for sure.

Drink lots of water, don’t gossip, or complain, or whine about anything. Get yourself a coach, get yourself a life coach, hire me if you need someone to gossip, to whine, to complain, don’t do it to any of your relationships. Don’t do it to yourself. Do the next right thing, take everything one step at a time. That will get you out of overwhelm. We’re just in a slow, steady pace in the right direction, slow everything down. Do the next right thing and go one step at a time.

Stop controlling other people. Stop manipulating other people. Stay on your side of the street, stay in your own business, swim in your own lane, and get out of everybody else’s lives, especially your adult kids, especially your husband’s, especially your friends, especially your mother’s, or your father’s, especially your in-laws. Stop controlling and manipulating other people. Give without any strings attached. Make it your goal to come from a place of love, unconditional love, don’t expect anything in return. Know what you want.

Practice knowing what you want. This solves for so much indecision. It solves for any waffling, and spinning, and being stuck. Just decide what you want, it can be anything. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it. You just know yourself so well that you know exactly what you want. Be clear and direct when you’re communicating with people, get super good at that. And those two very much go hand in hand. When you know what you want, you are so much clearer and direct when you’re talking to people. Okay, your yes is yes, your no is no.

You don’t have to explain yourself, you don’t have to make excuses ever. That is actually my next one is don’t make excuses. Get out of that. If you’re late just apologize for being late, or don’t say anything but stop making excuses. Remember, it’s all about being clear and honest with yourself. Get good at failing, don’t be afraid to fail. Take a break when you’re tired but don’t quit. Keep at it. Think thoughts on purpose. Think impossible thoughts on purpose.

Be productive every single day. Be productive every single day. Do what you say you’re going to do. Tell yourself the truth, set yourself up for the next day and then show up for yourself. Don’t be sarcastic. Sarcasm does not belong in you. Do not roll your eyes at people. Just be honest, don’t be sarcastic. When you find yourself being sarcastic, it’s way more of kind of like a manipulation or talking around the truth, or being kind of codependent without being clear. That isn’t your highest self. Sarcasm is not your highest self.

Always have a goal you’re working towards. Goals are everything. Goals are so important. You always have to have a goal you’re working towards, or you will find yourself six months from now spinning in the same thoughts and doing the exact same activities that you don’t want to do. So, you have to have a goal. Do not worry about what other people think. They are not thinking about you. This is so important, this will change your life. If you want to be happy and excited every single day, exercise every single day.

You guys, do something for 30 minutes, to 45 minutes, to an hour, every single day. This will change your life. If you are not exercising every single day you are not living the most exciting life that you know is possible for you. Do not let your brain talk you out of it. Show up and do something. Walk for 30 minutes. Run for 30 minutes. Ride a bike for 30 minutes. Do yoga for 30 minutes. Lift weights for 30 minutes. Do jumping jacks for 30 minutes. Hike for 30 minutes. Do something every single day. This will for sure uplevel your life. Stop making excuses and just do it.

Drink green juice every single day. Get a juicer, you guys, like I did so many years ago. And that is lifechanging, it just helps me stay feeling so good. I do not fight inflammation, it’s so much more beneficial than what you think it is. If you exercise every day and you press a green juice every day, press some celery every day, it will change your skin, it will change the way that you, if you’re used to not feeling good, like your joints or if you’re used to having headaches. It will take all of that away.

I’ve already said this, but get at least eight hours of sleep every single night. So set yourself up for a good night’s sleep. Take vitamins, and supplements, and eat fresh fruit and vegetables every single day. Take your vitamins, take your supplements, eat fresh fruits and vegetables every single day. That will uplevel your life. You will not only feel better, you’ll look better. When we look better we feel better, right, girls. Keep your house clean and simple. Simplify your house, get rid of all the clutter.

Keep your wardrobe clean and simple. I know I’ve talked to you so many times about my closet. But I don’t spend any time thinking about what I’m going to wear because I very much have a capsule wardrobe. I just go in and put my simple cute little outfits on every day. And it changes everything because I’m not spending any energy on what I’m going to wear. So, simplify your closet, make some decisions, get rid of all the things you don’t wear and keep the ones that are cute, that are simple, that are comfortable.

And then just you don’t have any resistance, you’re not having to ruffle through all the clothes. Just simplify your wardrobe, simplify your house. And then my next one is do not sleep with a snoring husband. Set it up to where you get a good night’s sleep and don’t be afraid to kick your husband out of bed or you set up a different bed for you. Don’t sleep with a snoring husband. That will uplevel your life. Do not blame problems on your life. Do not blame any problems in your life on your life. You do not have to blame yourself, or anyone for problems. Problems are just there.

Now, go back to my powerful questions that I gave you at the very beginning of this. And ask yourself those questions, how might this be good for me? What if this isn’t even a problem? So do not blame your problems on your life. Your life is awesome. Take ownership. Take responsibility. Make all the changes you want. Wash your face, eat a sandwich, take a nap when you’re tired. Stop all the drama. Take your seat at the table, know that you belong in the room.

All of your ideas, all of your wantings are important, they’re just as important as everybody else’s. So be brave enough to speak up, to pull your seat up at the big table, the big people table. Teach people how to treat you. You are teaching people how to treat you. And I know that was my last week’s episode. So, I just am going to keep reiterating that because if you want to be treated better you’ve got to treat yourself better. Go get what you deserve.

Go get what you want. You deserve every single thing that you want. And no one is going to come offer it to you, no one is going to hand deliver it to you. You have to go get it.

Number 37. Be grateful for everything that you can think of every single day. Get in that habit. Train your brain to look for every beautiful thing in your life and give thanks for that. Write a new story about your past. If your past feels heavy and your brain wants to drum up all the pain of the past, it’s time for you to write a more useful story and tell yourself a more useful story, and practice a more powerful useful story of your past. Focus on what you can control, your past, your present, your future.

All the thoughts of your past, your present and your future you can control those. No more perfectionism. Give up the A+ because perfectionists, they’re just people who never get anything done, who never create a lot of value in the world. I understand this because I used to be a perfectionist. And I absolutely am not anymore. Because I heard for the first time when I started getting coached, B- work is what we’re going for. We’re not going for A+ work.

So just get it done, get the work done, get it turned in and move on. And I’ve gotten really good at that. And that keeps us in action, so we’re not stuck in inaction, we’re actually doing things because we’re just like B- work works, it’s totally fine. It does not have to be perfect. I don’t care what people are thinking about it. It is good enough.

Set healthy boundaries, live from a place of healthy boundaries. That means in your head, in your thoughts because you are not letting your thoughts just run away with you because when you have boundaries in your head like I do, I’m only thinking about what’s right in front of me and the thoughts that I have control of, the things that are my business. So, live in healthy boundaries not only with the people in your life but also in your thought life, in your mindset.

We’re not just thinking about everything, we’re thinking about the things that are our business to think about, that’s living in healthy boundaries in our mind. Be more selfish, stop just giving yourself away and thinking that you have to do everything for all of the people. You need to be more selfish. Do exactly what you want to do. That’s being a great example for the people in your life. Stop being a martyr. It is not helpful to be a martyr. There’s no value in being a martyr. And you’re not setting a good example, you’re not being an example of what’s possible for the women in your life.

Stop being a martyr. Women, we’re so trained to be martyrs. And just no more of that nonsense. It’s just so un-useful. Stop trying to fix other people. People don’t want you to fix them. And it’s not helpful to them. Your people, your grown kids, your husband, your friends, your parents, they’re living their own lives. They do not want you fixing them. They do not want your opinions if they haven’t asked for them. So, stay in your own lane, stay on your side of the street, and just give up all the fixing of all the people.

Have more fun, you guys, love yourself, know how worthy you are of every fun extravagant thing in life. Open up to every possibility for you, and know the only thing limiting you are your thoughts. Open up to every possibility for you. Be happy. The feeling of happiness is available every single day. I am happy every single day. I’m excited every single day. And I know you can be too if I am. So be happy, you get to just decide that, work on that, make that a priority for you. Happy feels good. Happy energy feels good to everybody.

Stop resisting reality, stop resisting what is, stop pushing against it and embrace it. Just start practicing loving what is, that will uplevel your life.

Love yourself, this is actually number 50, I wrote so many more than this. But this is number 50. So, I’m going to finish with this. Love yourself, honor yourself, show yourself the utmost respect, treat yourself with love and with compassion, know who you are and what you want. Be an example of a woman who adores her life, who adores herself and who adores her people. That’s number 50 for you today. 50 for 50, 50 ways up to uplevel your life my friends.

These work, these are my habits, my practices every single day to live a life I absolutely love getting up in the morning to live. I have so much to look forward to because I understand that I’m the creator of all the excitement, all the love, all the joy, all the peace, all the momentum in my own life and I want you to experience it all too and I know it’s completely possible for you.

So, to celebrate 50 episodes of my podcast, Reinvented After 40, I’m so proud of myself, I’m so proud of you guys for following along. It just keeps growing and it’s just one of the most exciting parts of my life right now and I just love it. It’s super helpful for me and I know and trust that it’s been super helpful for you as well and the people in your life. I know that you’re making the changes that you want.

If you want to, and I know you do want to be coached, maybe you’ve just never experienced it before and you’re unsure, a little uncertain, maybe you’re not confident enough to sign up. But now is the perfect time to sign up for my small group that starts in September. I mean small groups are everything. There’s so much excitement in a small group, not only do you get coached every week, but you watch the other women get coached in your group and it’s helpful because you know you’re not alone because we’re all the same.

And you’ll become super close and tight with the women in the group, you’re going to love it. So, sign up for my next group and go to my website, kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for the group package. You will receive my beautiful, very helpful workbook in the mail, and you get started on that right away. And I will contact you right away. And if you want a more private coaching experience I have a spot for you to be coached for six months one-on-one with me.

Okay, you’ll love either container, you’ll grow, you’ll change, you’ll get the transformation that you’re really wanting. And I would love to be your life coach. Let’s create for you a very happy exciting life full of momentum. Alright, I love you so much, have the best day, have the best week, and I will see you next Thursday.

Thanks for listening to Reinvented After 40. If you want more information or resources from the podcast, please visit KymShowersLifeCoach.com.