Ep 127. Show Up and Keep Showing Up

I am Kym Showers and this is Reinvented After 40, episode number 127, Show Up and Keep Showing Up.

Welcome to the Reinvented After 40 podcast. I am your host, Kym Showers, and I’m a certified life coach for women in the second half of life. Each week I’ll bring you direct advice and inspiring, practical wisdom to help you live your very best life and create a future you’re absolutely obsessed with. It’s going to be fun, let’s get started.

Hey, my beautiful friends out in podcast land. Happy Thursday February 15th, 2024. This is the day that this episode comes out to the universe. And I just want to call it show up and keep showing up because I think that is the answer to everything in life, everything in your life, everything in my life, Man, you’ve got to be a show-er upper to your own life for your own sake. And I think that is why I love my life so much. I’ve just gotten really good and determined at showing up in my own life for my own sake.

And I do it day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. So here I am, episode number 127, in a podcast Reinvented After 40 that I started when I was 60 years old. That has just taken off and has become part of my everyday life that I just show up, show up, show up for. So I want you to think about this little idea about showing up and moving forward. That is your only job is to keep showing up in your life for your own sake.

So this last weekend, so I’m recording this obviously the Thursday before the Thursday it comes out. And I told you about this on last week’s podcast episode that I went to Austin, Texas for a book retreat because I am writing a book. And I learned so much. And I had so many beautiful conversations with authors, with published authors who were actually there launching their newest book. And we got to hear from them. We got to ask them questions. It was so delightful and so informative.

And my brain got a little overwhelmed because my plan is just to write and write and write and show up and write and then have that turn into a book. And my book is going to be somewhat of a memoir and also a self-help, self-development kind of book. How can you create a life you love as well? I’m going to tell you a little bit, how I’ve created a life I love and then I’m going to tell you in return how you can create a life you love.

When I was having conversations with published authors, they asked me about my process and this is what I just told them, “Well, I’m just going to write every day and then I’m going to turn that into a book at the end of the year.” And all of them said something like, “Oh, I love that. That’s cool. That’s a good idea.” But then when I asked them about their process, it was so much more than that. And that’s when my brain became overwhelmed. What I didn’t know is all of these authors, they’ve been published by a big publishing company.

The process has been three years for them on average. They would write, write, write, write. They would hire a publisher. They would submit their book ideas first to many, many, many publishers and get turned down many, many, many times. And they would keep at it until they found someone that was willing to go with their idea. And then they would hire an agent and then they would start the writing process. I’m not sure this is exactly how everybody does, but this is kind of how the parts and pieces I’m remembering. And then they would edit, edit, edit.

They’d have an editor that would keep sending back their copies to edit. It’s a whole thing, by the time the book actually gets published and comes out to the world, they’re already onto writing their next book. So for me, my brain’s just like, “You’re not going to even have an editor. You’re not going to have a publisher. You’re going to self-publish, and you’re not going to have an agent.” And then I was questioning all of that, well, maybe I should do that. Maybe that would be better for me. So I don’t know. I’m still kind of thinking about how it’s all going to go.

I don’t know the how right now other than I am going to just write and get good at writing. That’s all I’m worried about right now. And then my idea about the future of this book, it could just be self-published and then my clients get it and maybe all of you in podcast land, maybe it’s available to you as well. And then I just learn a ton about if I want to continue writing books. I don’t know, maybe I will. Maybe it’ll just be part of my new becoming and be part of my future self, which I am totally down for.

And all I know is today I’m going to show up and do the work that I have promised myself I’m going to do and part of that work is writing. Part of that work is this podcast, podcasting. Part of that work is coaching, coaching my groups, coaching my clients, coaching my one-on-one clients and putting those sessions into my client portal. Uploading those and organizing my business and being an entrepreneur and showing up for my business, in my business, for my business, for my sake, for my clients’ sake.

I am actually doing something new the day this episode comes out. If you’re listening to it early, early, early morning on the 15th, you probably already know I am hosting my very first webinar/masterclass is what I’m calling it on how to become the woman of your dreams. And that’s my very first time to host a webinar and invite the world, invite everybody that wants to show up and come to my webinar.

And if you can show up, register this morning if you haven’t already gotten the link. I don’t think you’re too late if it’s before 9:00 am California time on Thursday, February 15th, you still have the opportunity to come live to that webinar. Now, I’m going to tell you something, I’m showing up for that. And even though I’ve never done it before, I’m so excited about it. I am just going to do what I do every single week, so many times a week that I’ve been doing for years and years now.

I’m going to show up on Zoom and I am going to love everybody who comes to that webinar and I’m going to speak directly to you. I’m going to teach you every single thing that I know, every tool I know, every habit, every practice that I know on how you can become the woman of your dreams. And help everybody that wants to be helped. So I’m going to show up for you. I’m going to show up for me, for our sake so we can go next level in our life. That’s what we all want to do.

So even though I have a brain that offers me self-doubt because I’ve never done a webinar before. I don’t know how many women are going to come. But I do have so much confidence doing this because I do it every week and I’ve done it hundreds and hundreds of times for my paying clients. So for me there’s just no difference there. And I’m just going to show up like I do every single week and teach all of you who don’t pay me and some of you will show up who do pay me. And I will just love every single second of it because this is what I was made to do.

This is what I was born to do. And especially right now being 62, almost 63, it’s almost my birthday. I’m so excited about being 63 because I know how 63, I know it’s going to be even better than any thoughts that I’m thinking right now because that’s how it’s always been. This is how I live. This is how I think, my life keeps getting better. I keep getting more confident and all that’s required of me is to keep showing up for myself, keep showing up in my life and in my business for my own sake.

So I keep streamlining. I keep getting excited about things in my future. I don’t drag a bunch of stuff from my past that isn’t useful for me. I keep coaching myself and getting coached so that I can clean up my brain and just lighten up everything. And I want to tell you a story as evidence to prove how this work works, how it has benefited me so much in the last seven years. And I want you to know that, gosh, in every single area of my life, the things that used to bother me are not even a blip on my screen.

Last weekend, when I flew to Austin, Texas, and had the most fabulous weekend, it was remarkable. I headed home on Sunday afternoon, flew to Phoenix because I don’t have a straight direct flight out of San Luis Obispo Airport and I love to fly out of my airport. I don’t want to drive anywhere and fly out. So I usually go through Phoenix. So Austin to Phoenix and then I think my flight maybe on Sunday was at 5:30 from Phoenix home to San Luis Obispo.

But what I didn’t know on Sunday is that all along the California coast, there was a pretty gigantic storm happening and I didn’t know how bad it was. Jeff had told me it was windy. And I knew that there was rain coming in. But there was no thought in my brain that my flight was going to get canceled. But right when we were getting on the plane to come home, they came on and said our flight was canceled. And most people thought that was a problem. But because I am who I am now and my main thought that I always think is, this isn’t a problem. How is this going to work for me? How can I have some fun here? What would my highest self think and do?

Who do I want to be in this? And what most people would call this went wrong, because the flight got canceled. This is a problem. This shouldn’t have happened. This went wrong. I just call it life. If we’re going to travel, we know that flights are going to get canceled, flights are going to be delayed, we’re not going to get our luggage. None of these things are a problem ever if we don’t want him to be. And I never want them to be.

I really do love thinking this isn’t a problem because it just relieves any anxiety that my body wants to create, my mind wants to create when I think this has gone wrong, this is a problem, this shouldn’t be happening. So I show up for myself on purpose, thinking thoughts on purpose that are going to give me an experience, a life experience that I’m going to actually enjoy. And that is exactly what happened on Sunday. I enjoyed the entire experience.

I met new friends waiting in line, trying to get my luggage so that I can stay the night in Phoenix and figuring out if they can get me on another flight the next day, which would have been Monday, the earliest flight. Just figuring all of that out. My husband was at home, helping me via text. He was trying to get me on another flight while I was standing in line because there was just mayhem at the airport because they had just canceled a bunch of other flights as well, Santa Barbara was canceled.

So some people were trying to get to LA, flying to LA and just renting cars to get home to San Luis Obispo and to Santa Barbara, which I wasn’t going to do. So I texted Jeff and I said, “Hey, can you get me a hotel room for tonight, a close hotel, as nice of a hotel as you can get me by the airport?” Which he did and it was absolutely a dream, you guys. It was so nice.

And I’m going to tell you why this is such a big deal is my old self, my people pleasing self, the self that was afraid to ask what I wanted, that maybe I didn’t deserve the nicest hotel room, the suite, the one with the big bathtub. Who do I think I am, that I deserve all of that? Well, let me tell you something. This work has gotten me to a place where I know my worth. I know 100% I’m worthy of every single thing, of the best room, of the best circumstance, and I’m going to enjoy it all. And I will show up for myself and keep showing up for myself and make sure I get exactly what I want.

And the reason I would have been anxious about this situation, another reason is because I had a bunch of appointments on Monday that I needed to cancel because I wasn’t going to be home. And I would have been anxious to ask my husband to get me the best hotel room possible because I didn’t think I was worthy and I’m a people pleaser. And I would have just said, “Yeah, just get me the hotel room that you want to get me.” Because before he’d have just got me the cheapest hotel room just because I’m going to be there just for a night.

In his mind it’s no big deal. Just get her a cheap hotel room, really close to the airport. But he knows me now. He knows I don’t want the cheapest hotel room. I want the nicest hotel room. And I have no problem asking for that, and if he’s not willing to get it for me, I’ll go get it for myself. And he knows that too. So none of this is a problem. And then also I would have so much anxiety about canceling all of my appointments on Monday because I’d be afraid of what they were thinking. That I was letting them down, that I was leaving a gap in their day because I had to cancel the appointment.

I had none of that drama because all of this was out of my control. I don’t have any problem canceling appointments because I’m not in charge of any of their feelings. If they’re mad at me for canceling appointments, then that’s not a problem for me. That’s totally on them and there’s nothing I can do about it. So I just sent everybody a text. I had three separate appointments set on Monday. I actually had four separate appointments. I sent each one of them a text, apologized, said my plane flight was canceled and I’ll reschedule with them probably on Tuesday and let it go.

And I didn’t think about it again. There was zero anxiety about any of that. But I’m telling you, this is what people pleasers get stuck in. We don’t think we’re worthy of the best. We don’t like canceling on people because of the judgment, or because we think they’re going to be mad or disappointed. We hate to disappoint people, but I’m fine, disappointing people. I’m living my best life and I want everyone to live their best life. And I’m not trying to get anyone to feel a certain way about me. Can you see that?

So this is the benefit of showing up for myself in the last seven years and becoming this version of myself that I am now. None of this is a problem for me. So I ended up having the absolute best 24 hours being in Phoenix. It wasn’t what I had planned on doing, but I have learned to actually accept what is and even get to a place where I can love what is. I’m unattached to outcomes which is so useful and so helpful to become a woman who is unattached to certain outcomes. I thought it was going to go this way.

I thought I was going to get on a plane and be at home on Sunday night but that didn’t happen. It was never going to be that way. So what was going to happen was my flight was going to get canceled for safety’s sake, which I’m so happy about. I mean, if it’s unsafe, I’d rather be safe in an airport than unsafe in a plane. So I’m not going to complain about any of that or resist it. I mean, I could if I wanted to, I could be disappointed. And maybe part of me might have been a little disappointed because I was looking forward to getting home, but I wasn’t mad about it or resistant to it at all.

I was so accepting of it and actually ended up loving the whole experience because I wanted to. So I know how to show up as my highest self on purpose whenever anything seems to ‘go wrong’. I’m like, “I wonder what’s going to happen. I know this is all for me.” Because that’s how it’s always been. So I show up for myself. I’m very aware of what I’m thinking, how I’m feeling, how I’m being. And if it’s anything but my highest self, I know how to shift that.

So I just had the best experience. I had the sweetest Uber driver. I got to the hotel, I asked for a bathtub. They upgraded me automatically to a suite, but the suite they upgraded me to didn’t have a bathtub and I go, “I need a bath.” So they go, “Okay, well it’s going to cost you a little bit of money to upgrade to this.” It was an apartment. I was like, “Absolutely, give me that.” So I ordered the yummiest room service. I had the most delightful glass of wine.

I took a bath with all these yummy salts in it, a hot bath in this ginormous, beautiful bathtub. I climbed into this lofty, all white delicious bed. I watched the Grammys. I slept for 10 hours and it was absolutely exactly what I didn’t know I needed. And the universe keeps conspiring in my favor. And this is evidence again, once again, to prove that to be true. And I absolutely loved the entire experience. And I got home safe and sound late Monday.

Jeff picked me up at the airport and I’m just so in love with my husband, oh my gosh. And he’s so in love with me. We have this respect for each other. He goes, “You’re always the funnest person in any situation.” And I think I just keep blowing his mind. I keep blowing my own mind and it’s all because of this mindset work. I just know how to manage my thoughts and emotions to live the exact experience every single day that I want to live on purpose.

You guys, this is what’s possible for you. I don’t care how old you are. I don’t care what you’re dragging from your past. You need a coach, if you get a flight canceled and you make that a problem for yourself, you have to cancel appointments and you make that a problem for yourself, you need a coach. And I am the best coach for you. 100%. I can help you get to a place in your own life, get out of everybody else’s lives, everybody else’s relationships, everybody else’s business. You can stop worrying about them and about you and your future.

And you can learn to love what it is. You can learn how to show up in your life on purpose, thinking thoughts on purpose, feeling feelings on purpose. I know how to get myself encouraged, motivated, and inspired in every day and in every situation, even those circumstances that seem like things have gone wrong. I see it totally different on purpose. And I can help you learn how to live this way on a daily basis. And it really, truly gives you a dreamy life experience and that’s what we all want.

And you’re worthy of it, my friend. I promise you, your brain tries to convince you that you’re not worthy of what you want but that’s all nonsense from your brain. And that’s all preprogramming that you can actually drop and reprogram your brain to think on purpose more useful thoughts, more helpful thoughts, thoughts that are a lot more empowering for you.

So I’ve gotten really good at letting go, letting go, letting go and letting go of things that aren’t useful for me anymore and letting go of any self-doubt that pops up here and there. I recognize it and I can just let that go, that’s just nonsense. I’m not attached to those thoughts that aren’t useful for me. So it’s a practice, practice, practice. It’s a habit. It’s a process. It’s something that we can always be getting better at and learning more about.

So that’s what I want to help you with in this program that I have called Reinvented After 40, coaching with Kym Showers. My next group starts Tuesday at noon, next Tuesday at noon, February 20th. I can’t wait to get started with this new group. Groups are rarely above 10. So don’t think it’s going to be this gigantic group, it is not. It’s an intimate group. It’s a powerful group. You’re going to be friends with everybody. You’re going to love everybody in the group.

I get the most powerful, dynamic, beautiful women and you will fit right in. You’ll love it so much. Your life will be changed forever. You will get 20 group sessions. So we will meet 20 times as a group. You will get all the replays. You’ll get access to my group program website portal that has a bunch of videos in it, and all my past workshops in it. As well now moving forward, all of my webinars will be housed there as well, so you’ll get access to all of that. There’s tons of learning to do on that private website that we have created for you.

And then you will come to my in-person retreat, which you’re going to absolutely love and it will be just a huge launching pad for your own personal growth. That will be May 2nd, 3rd and 4th in Avila Beach, California. So all you have to do is get yourself here and pay for your room. There’s a block of rooms being held right now for the retreat. And then I cover the rest. It’s just two and a half days of coaching, teaching, eating delicious food, which I provide, and it’s so much fun. You’ll get to come to my house as well.

So I just really want to encourage you to join this next February group and let’s get going on creating a life that you absolutely are obsessed with. Where you’re just learning how to move forward and be more of a forward thinker, creating a life that you look forward to in your future. So much less worrying and a lot more enjoyment and self-empowerment and creating more money if that’s what you want to do, creating a healthier body if that’s what you want to do, creating more muscle.

Becoming a woman who does what she says she’s going to do, showing up for yourself every single day like I do. I know, you guys, showing up is 80% of it. Just show up. Do what you said you’re going to do. Show up for yourself and then keep showing up and become someone you trust the most, trust yourself the most. You should be the most trustworthy person in your life, 100%. I am, for sure, the person that I trust the most in my life and it has taken a lot of intentional work, a lot of showing up to get here. And I want you to be able to say the same thing. It is so much fun.

And the things that are bothering you right now, I promise you, a year from now will not be bothering you or will just be bothering you so much less. So we want to let go of people pleasing and that takes practice. We want to let go of codependency, that takes practice. We want to be able to have good boundaries in our life, that takes practice. We want to feel like we’re the boss of our own life and our own journey. We want to let go of so much anxiety that all those other habits create for us.

We want to set ourselves free to stop trying to manage other people’s thoughts and feelings about us. None of that is our business. So we just become the woman of our dreams by showing up for ourselves. That’s the key. We are the one that we have been waiting for. All we have to do is show up for ourselves. And it’s such a fun time, you guys, I love it so much.

So, well, that’s all I had for you today. I hope that’s useful and helpful for you and encouraging and motivating and inspiring for you, moving forward. That’s all we have to do is, show up for ourselves every single day no matter what, and do it for our own sake. And that is what helps all the people we love the most and that is what helps the entire world.

Thanks for being here. Thanks for being part of my beautiful podcast universe. I love you all and appreciate you all. Share this episode with anyone that you know would love it and I will see you next Thursday.

If you love this podcast, I invite you to come work with me. Go to kymshowerslifecoach.com, sign up for my next group and retreat, and let’s create your dream life together.